I'm back!
After a week of travel to Philly, the Jersey Shore, and points beyond, I am back to ringing phones, 300 emails telling me who in the office has just gone to lunch, and a cubical full of boxes and, I kid you not, a wall-sized banner draped over my chair.
Looks like I was sorely missed.
But I'm back and semi-relaxed (okay, maybe too relaxed. Does it ever feel like you're in a time warp when you come back to work and realize how fast everyone is moving? It's a bit like a New Yorker on a visit to Memphis.)
The interesting thing about traveling, when you deal in the Creative and Marketing fields, is seeing where the rubber meets the road in terms of marketing.
For instance, I almost never rent cars. Instead I choose to have extended family haul me around from place to place or have them figure out which of their autos I can use when I'm in town (big surprise, it's usually the oldest vehicle. But heck, I really can't complain, can I?) So it was interesting to see how Hertz operated when I rented a car for this sojourn. I've seen a thousand of their ads, bill stuffers, and commercials about Hertz (In fact, I remember OJ Simpson flying into one of their vehicles at one point), but how does that compare with the reality of dealing with their company?
So instead of boring you with the details of how well my Italian relatives can cook (and man can they cook) or what it's like visiting a house with more bathrooms than backsides, I'll rate a few of the companies I got to use during my "trip outside".
Let's start with HERTZ RENT A CAR.
How easy was it to use their site? Incredibly. The price of their vehicles for the week was very competitive with the other rental companies. Cheaper, in fact, with a discount I got from my credit card company.
When I arrived at the Philly airport, they picked me up in their shuttle van quickly and courteously and whisked me away to their concrete bunker not far away. The line was short, but it was 6:15 in the morning, officially 3:15 my time, so I was hoping for that.
The guy behind the counter was nice, but, how do I say this, it was really, really difficult to understand what he was saying. Especially when he was trying to upsell me on something called Fuel Purchase Option. The guy said something about $6.99, a full tank, and how far away the gas stations were. I said sure (it was early and was only $6.99, I wasn't going to quibble). I signed my name and went to go get my car.
Weirdly, the car I requested, a speedy Taurus, wasn't in the space, instead there was a Hyundai SUV. I walked back to the office, showed the counter person my slip (my person was busy) and was told I was given an upgrade. Which would have been nice to know the first time at the counter, I thought they'd just written the wrong space number on the car and I'd be driving someone else's rental.
The car was clean, drove pretty well, and still had that New Car Smell. And, bonus, contained more cup holders than my car.
A few days later, however, when I looked at the bill they'd printed out, there was a mysterious $57.40 charge on it. For, yup, the afforementioned Fuel Purchase Option. I called Hertz HQ to try to figure out what this meant, and none of the customer reps (I spoke to 2) could explain exactly what this was. I ended up guessing that it was something to do with buying gas for the car so you could return it empty and not be charged. Both of the reps let me know they didn't really know about it and that I should call the Philadelphia Airport Hertz to get it straightened out. Easier said than done. No one answered the phone at that facility. I was put into a voice mailbox, twice, and no one called me back.
Not wanting to ruin my last day of vacation over 57 bucks I just took it in and got the skinny from the Hertz rep at the airport. Exactly as I thought, you prepay a tank of gas at a certain price and don't have to worry about returning the car full. Which is freat if you plan on driving until your tank is empty, but not such a great deal if you leave them with a half a tank of gas and eat $25.
Either way, being upsold on a product no one can explain to you, isn't the best way to rep your services. And, really, voice mail that no one returns for a customer who has questions? Booo.
Hertz's grade: B-
THE PARKING SPOT
I've tried less expensive options at LAX, like Johnny Park and Park Place, but last time I went to one of these places, the guys at the front looked a lot like they just bought it from someone else. They were also concerned that I had a reservation for a spot they may not actually have. Which are not the words you're looking for when your flight is taking off in 45 minutes. So this time I went to The Parking Spot. Why? Last time when my wife and two kids waited 25 minutes for the shuttle from the cheaper place, during which we saw 7,563 Parking Spot vans (my son counted them). I figured if I could hop off the plane, haul our stuff over to the curb, and get on a van, so much the better.
The Web site for The Parking Spot is decent. Not good looking, mind you, but it works. And, really, for reservations, that's the point, right? We printed out our reservations and the directions to the facility were clear. However, coming into the lot was confusing. The paper said something about punching in a code and yet there was no place to punch in codes. We'd reserved a space on the roof, but the roof, the sign said, was full. Turned out we could drive to the roof anyway and spaces were available. Happily, I'd allowed myself enough time to allow for a few mistakes here.
They had complimentary water downstairs in the "lobby" (which was not so great looking, compared to a place like Wally Park) was warm, as they'd let the fridge go empty and just filled it up. The shuttle, as expected was quick, and got us to the airport in a couple minutes.
On the way back, though, after a 5 hour flight and 45 minutes waiting for some luggage that didn't come (see US Airways review), is where I was very glad to have used The Parking Spot.
My very, very tired family got on a shuttle within 5 minutes of stepping to the curb (note to LAX users, the Century City facility seems to have more frequent shuttles) and got to the lot quickly. Just in time to discover my car, the good old VW Jetta, dead as a doornail in the cheery, well-lit parking facility. Going downstairs, the customer service rep called a guy who came around with a Jump Start System to help me in less than two minutes. I grabbed three cold waters from the fridge and headed up with him. He got my car started in a minute and we were at the cashier in less than 10 minutes from finding out my car was dead. To top it all off, the cashier saw two tired kids in the car and gave them two bags of cookies (how about that, Becky?)
Like some racehorses, The Parking Spot started out slow, but really pulled through when we needed it.
The Parking Spot's grade: A-
VW Jetta's grade: D
US AIRWAYS
Hmm. Well...
Though our flight was delayed in Philly (the pilot was late) they got us to LA ahead of time. They lost our bag, even though it had only traveled from my hand to the TSA to the plane, then straight to LAX. In fact, they lost about 15 people's bags, most of whom were less than happy.
The US Airways self-service terminals have no person attending them. So in both LA and Philly it looked a lot like trying to take a plane out of Sicily sans women carrying chickens.
The guy at the ticket counter wouldn't respond to my questions, though (I believe) I was speaking to him in English and making direct eye contact.
Headphones for the movie were $5. The airline staff were complaining while serving passengers.
But! I've taken more expensive carriers and many times, they are just as bad, if not worse. And the seats were better than the United flight I took to Boston 2 weeks ago.
So, they get points for being just as bad as many of the other airlines, but significantly cheaper.
US Airway's grade: B-
There's a lesson here. And it's not "be happy with what you have" or "Tim is a big ol' whiner".
Next time you get customer service, think of the service that you, you yourself, would like to get.
Uh oh, too preachy?
I'd better catch up on those emails....
Two words:
Meat Raffle
Every Saturday at 2pm at the Hexagon Bar in Minneapolis.
Bring your cooler just in case you win.
(Thanks to Bart, whose brother will be appearing at the bar for some local live music. SXSW watch out!)
If you're wondering whether your e-mail marketing strategies are knocking off your customers one-by-one by driving them to hit the delete button every time they see your company name or clicking the link to unsubscribe, you might want to look at this recent interview MarketingSherpa had with Travelocity's Director of Customer Loyalty and Marketing.
Did you think I was going to say interview with Travelocity's Gnome? Sorry.
Paul Briggs has been Director at the company for 4 1/2 years and is a huge fan of e-mail marketing segmentation. His program has gone from 2 to 3 million generic e-mails messages to a broad audience into targeted mailings to highly-segmented lists which could be as small as 50,000 names.
He's finding that a better targeted audience initiative "consistently converted
sales anywhere from eight to 12 times higher than less-relevant offers."
The article, found here, is open access for today, but may require sign in if you're reading this in, say, 2025.
(If you are reading this in the future, would you look me up and see how I'm doing? I'm very interested to find out.)
While you're reading the article, you might as well sign up for their free newsletter, which comes highly recommended from our Marketing Director, James Gardner.
Thanks for the pass along James!
Every year I pack up the clan in the Family Truckster and head out to the wilds of Pomona to buy our share of $4 pumpkins grown by the Cal Poly Pomona's College of Agriculture.
The pumpkins are out in a field, just like in real life, instead of a vacant lot recently redecorated to look like a field (and soon to be a Christmas tree lot.)
There are no carts available, so people bring large wagons, bags, and stolen grocery carts into the acreage, overload them, then try desperately to make it back to the student volunteers at the front to pay for them. $4 for any size.
Did I mention it's hot? It's in Pomona, so it's usually 75 degrees hotter than the rest of LA. That's what makes it an adventure. Hey, anyone can go to Trader Joe's to pick out their pumpkin, but it takes a certain kind of person to try to push wobbly-wheeled shopping cart filled with 120 pounds of winter squash through a recently plowed field. Which is why it's one of the few places in LA that is considered a Celebrity-Free Zone.
It's this Saturday and Sunday. All the info is available at at the CSU Pomona site.
Oh, and there's a Pancake Breakfast and a Petting Zoo for those of you who share breakfast food with miniature goats.
That's something recently outlawed at those vacant lot pumpkin patches.
Apparently the Aquent Cow Mailer is on the move. Again.
Seems our summer mailer went on a few trips which we talked about here, but now it seems he's on MySpace garnishing comments galore.
On MySpace he makes it very clear that he is male and 25 years old.
He tells a little about himself:
"I am from Holbert Indiana. My home was falling apart so I left all of my
friends to come live in a big city. As I left my home in IN, I spent
one day partying like a rockstar in DC, then took a very exciting
journey via the USPS, to MN where I currently reside."
I am sorry to say the Aquent cow may not be a reliable source of information. His home is the Aquent Marketing Department, it is not falling apart, and it was already living in the big city (Boston). And I am danged sure it is a Holstein heifer.
I've been telling everybody not to trust cows for years, but here's some pretty convincing proof.
You know, even though it's a strange to read people discussing you in your own blog, but I have to say the whole Aquent team (as well as our Talent Adriana) did an AWESOME job of giving out some incredible information over the past two weeks.
I did hear from a few folks who enjoyed the guest bloggers, but I'd like to hear more. Are there topics you're currently interested in that you don't see often in the blog (I'm not thinking 99 Cents Only Store here)? Please let me know, here in the comments or via e-mail.
We started this blog over a year ago to be a good touch point (if that is indeed a word) for all the folks we work with as Talent or Client, or anyone who wanted to know more about our company.
I've seen other blogs evolve, and I'm hoping you'll see fit to help us help you. Even though that sounds incredibly, incredibly corny. I'm not talking seeing my face here every day with some teeny bit of news and sound bites, believe me, you don't want that. More about topics, resources, etc.
In the meantime, I hope you'll enjoy these nice pictures from one day of my vacation, at Legoland no less. Seems some of the people building these things have a sense of humor...
The Imagine Mosaic in a little Central Park.
The police cornering a suspect in Lego New Orleans (and filmed by a TV crew no less).
Man being held at "banana point" in the NYC subway.
The legendary Giant Birds of San Francisco.
And (just because I wanted to see if Susie was paying attention) the Bathrooms at Grand Central Terminal.
Corporate Aquent Australia from Daphne, a former Aquent LA Creative Agent
(who we dearly miss)
Before arriving at the Sydney office for my first day of work in March 2004, I had visions of Haviana flip flops slapping on Sydney agent's feet, mobile phones ringing the Can Can and being greeted by our marketing manager (Tim, cough cough), who sported politically correct tee shirts preaching commuters to ditch their cars for their bicycles....ahhh LA.
Let's just put it this way - today I'm wearing pantyhose, closed toed pumps (PUMPS?!), my phone is on SILENT and Talent are twiddling their thumbs over Newsweek and Vogue waiting quietly in 'reception' that is safely guarded behind a security card armed door... Welcome to Corporate Aquent Australia.
I vaguely remember Sharon saying, "It's Sydney! You'll be surfing on your lunch breaks...." - oh how I wept when I found out Bondi is a breezy 45 minute bus ride from the centre of town.
My message is to think wisely young grasshoppers if you feel the grass is greener.
I am happy I made the choice to live abroad and learn a new culture. I have grown so much in this new role it's all been fantastic! I do feel very lucky.
However I still reminisce the days of shimmying out the Aquent front door a la Elvis for Amy and Marshall. Or doing the old “Help! Someone’s grabbing me by the neck behind this door!� gag. I would love to eavesdrop again on the never-ending woes from the cleaning lady pouring her heart out in Spanish on her mobile in the adjacent bathroom stall...
I dream of morning meetings where you sit on yoga balls and kneel on weird back aligning stools while praising new Talent as 'Awesome!' Where are the days when Tim and I would (politely and calmly) share our ipod playlists for Talent Catch Up Nights in the office; no mine is better, no MINE is better!
I miss interview rooms softly painted in feng shui hues easing any Talent’s nerves....I can see Tim shuffling around the 99 cent store buying employee anniversary gifts and smell Okie Dog calling for lunch, or was that after lunch...? And ah yes, the crunching sound of metal and glass from another car accident on Wilshire and Fairfax lulling me into my daily drip coffee.
So dearest LA team, next time you are snacking on weird left over holiday gifts by the printer, letting the newbie pick out the office music for the day or wondering why I spell color like colour.... pour a little out for your homie Daph down under, where the only music I hear is the whirring of air conditioning ducts, agents making ‘courtesy calls to touch base’ and the swishing of tan pantyhose.
Come on, in a side-by-side comparison - which would you choose? :)
Hey all, I'm taking a brief hiatus (2 weeks to be precise) up to Yosemite and parts beyond.
Don't fear! The Hot Talent Newsletter and ASAP Job List will still be posted for the next two Fridays without me.
Which may make everyone start to wonder what exactly I do back in this corner.
I wonder if it's too late to cancel my travel plans?
Heck.
Well, I'll be seeing YOU (hopefully) in two weeks.
And more.
Seems the Aquent Cow has found a life of his own with a blogger named Mariah.(click for link)
It's good that the Aquent Cow got some time away from the office, he was starting to look a little haggard from those 24/7 workdays.
Don't let anyone tell you cows are lazy.
The only disconcerting thing about Mariah's blog is that she named the cow "Aquent", which sounds odd when you accompany pictures with such sentences as:
- Aquent taking a nap with Beth.
- Aquent is getting a cup of joe.
- Aquent at his barn. This is where he lives.
- Aquent fell in love with a very special girl.
I wonder if she realizes Aquent is a Limited Liability Corporation?
Or if she called HR about napping with Beth?
Now they've really done it.
I was a little critical of Southwest Airlines blog when it originally came out, and the fact is, I don't go to it regularly. Maybe it's because I travel so little outside my house, much less my city. (I've only recently taken the foil off the windows.) But a recent post by their CEO just caught my attention.
Seems the airline known for peanuts and unassigned seating is thinking of assigned seating. And one of the ways they're talking about it is via their blog.
What I think is refreshing about the post is its openness and honesty, especially considering it's from a CEO. Which jibes with everyone's perception of the airline (can you say "on brand"?).
Gary Kelly explains why they came up with open seating in the first place (keeping the time an aircraft sits at the gate to a bare minimum) and the cold, hard facts Southwest is currently facing (rising fuel prices and costs). He's also not afraid to tell everyone they are looking for new ways to generate revenue. Weird, but once a CEO says that, you say, "But of course!" instead of "Big greedy corporation!"
It's nice they get the head of the company to blog to encourage customers to weigh in (over 389 comments at last count). It also helps the company quell rumors that the change will happen quickly and without customer input.
I think this is the best form of blogging for a CEO, just the occasional post. It beats the heck out of trying to have him or her constantly running the blog themselves as well as trying to run the company.
Now if we can just get Southwest to upgrade to Trail Mix, we'll really have something.
Every once in awhile you come across a news story that's so remarkable it sticks with you. I'm going to tell you about one such story. (But you knew that was going to happen, right?)
I was listening to National Public Radio yesterday and the host was interviewing a husband/wife photographer/writer team who just released this strangely compelling book, Hungry Planet: What the World Eats. The couple went around the world and stayed with families for a week, taking note of every single thing they ate. At the end of the week, they posed the family by the same food items and took a picture of them. Below the picture they list all the items and tally up the cost. They wanted to show how different factors (migration, money, globalization, grocery stores) affect how we eat.
And yes, it's true, one of those families in Chad can really subsist on under $25 a week.
I don't know what's more insane, taking a picture of a family in front of all the food they've consumed over the week or looking at the huge amount of crap the American family has just ingested.
(On a side note: I was drinking a Diet Coke a few weeks ago when Ryan, my son, looked up at me and asked, "What are you drinking?" I looked down at the plastic curvy bottle and thought, "I am drinking a bunch of chemicals".)
The full NPR story is here.
Bad Form!
Mar 13, 2006 @ 4:03 PM
Though I'm not a fan of the movie Hook, there's something about Dustin Hoffman dressed up as a pirate and yelling, "Bad form!" that gets me every time...
Speaking of bad form, I did eventually hear back from America West regarding our horrible trip back from Nebraska and I've been a slouch for not telling you in on it.
After cutting and pasting my post into an e-mail (a benefit of having a blog), I sent it off to America West and waited for a response. And waited. And waited.
I didn't mind waiting, because, judging from all the people I saw stranded over the holidays, I imagine the airline customer service people had their hands full with angry customers for a long time. I was home, I had my rant, I could wait.
About three weeks ago we got a package in the mail from the airline. It came with an apology letter, two hats for the kids, and (get this) four, count 'em, four $150 vouchers for our troubles.
It was a nice touch that they included the hats, because it showed a) they actually read and understood the letter and b) that they wanted to appease the children for their inconvenience as well.
I say thank YOU America West slash U.S. Airways, you made me less grumpy.
Dang, I'm gonna take a vacation.
I just really, really, really hope I don't get stuck in Phoenix again.
Wasn't it those Whos down in Whoville that sat on a large bike and played "noisy games like zoo-zinger-car-zay -- a roller skate kind of lacrosse
and croquet"?
Well now you can play it to on your Family Triple Traveler bike from Bike Friday.
That's room for three on seats alone, not to mention a place for each of the triplets in a bike seat behind each rider.
I think I just found a way to Bike Pool to work.
You may not believe it, but that whole dang thing folds up.
Well, the trip went well, it was just the return flight that was the problem. That's a good thing, right?
How miserable would it be if my flights to/from Omaha were awful and I had to spend time with irritating people?
Unfortunately, I think that's the way many people's holidays go.
The burger at Stella's Hamburgers, btw, was awesome. My wife, Wendy, commented that only in Omaha would you have something as classy as your waitress delivering your order and then hoofing it to the end of the bar to light up a Pall Mall. (Stella's beer list is also impressive: Miller High Life, Schaefer, Schaefer Light, Busch, Busch Light, Pabst Blue Ribbon (aka PBR). I hadn't seen so many cheap beers together since my friend's wedding right after college.)
The flight back from Omaha, and all of January 1st, however left much to be desired. Those of you who had your own flight disasters can feel free to
- weigh in
- tune out
- tell me I should be glad I'm not one of those guys waiting in Lima, Peru for three weeks while the airline waits for a part for the plane
We were traveling with our two kids, Abby (3) and Ryan (6), and were told as soon as we arrived to check in at Omaha's America West ticket counter that our flight was cancelled and we'd be put on the next flight to Phoenix, our connection city. That'd leave us with 3 hours to kill at the Omaha's Eppley Airfield. They also informed us we'd be spending the night in Phoenix, because we'd miss our connection coming into Burbank. The flight out of there would leave at 8:18am.
Our daughter fell asleep in Wendy's arms just as the plane came up to the gate. They'd bumped us up to 1st Class, which was very nice, but then accidentally put someone else in my daughter's seat while my wife and she were sleeping because they thought Abby was a "lap child". The flight attendants were apologetic and offered us cocktails galore, which we thankfully didn't take, because by the time we got to the crammed Phoenix airport the woman from AmeriSuites told us the car service to take us to the hotel was running behind and it'd be 20 minutes. Sure enough 20 minutes later a driver in a Town Car pulled up, passed me, then proceeded to pick up another woman and depart with her and her tiny bag to AmeriSuites, even after I asked the driver wasn't he supposed to be picking me up ("Someone else will come," he reassured me.) After 5 phone calls from me and 4 from another stranded AmeriSuites customer a car came. 1 1/2 hours after our first call. It was 11:30pm (12:30am Omaha time) and the driver proceeded to tell us how tired she was and kept missing exits and going back into the airport.
We put the kids to bed at 12:30 and put in a wake up call for 6am for our morning flight. All night I dreamt about every single incident of the day and waking up in a panic to check the clock (I was sure the wake up call wouldn't come and we'd miss the flight out).
Well, it did come and we got to the ticket counter on time. Turned out everyone had a ticket except the 3 year-old, Abby. They were able to book her a seat back 12 rows (which I'm sure her seat mate would've loved ) and told us to negotiate with the flight attendant. I spent the $20 worth of America West Airport Vouchers on anything I could find at Starbucks and the flight attendant found a nice place for Abby by Wendy. At least we were getting close to home.
Now even though my father and several other people kept mentioning that it was raining in Burbank (and thus at the Burbank Airport), I never translated that to, "Take all your jackets out of your bag and keep them on the plane with you." I'm funny that way. Sure enough Burbank was underwater and passengers were instructed to use the old-fashioned gangway to deplane and walk 100 yards to the airport.
Wendy got the bags (also outside) while I waited got on a shuttle to get my car out of the parking lot, which involved getting a lot wetter.
"Funny," I thought as I approached my car, "my remote control locks aren’t working." And if you guessed my two-year old battery in my Jetta was dead, you get an Aquent Springy Clock.
I decided to make a run for the attendant's booth in the rain and covering my body with my auto sunshade. I got to the booth only to be greeted with a "Back in 10 Minutes!" sign. The door wasn't locked, so I decided to go in. Luckily the attendant was nearby in her truck, the electricity (and thus heat) had been knocked out and she was trying staying warm. I asked her if she had a service to jump start my car (as advertised here) only to be greeted with a friendly "Nope". The attendant did, however, have a Ford F-350 I could jump my car off if I had cables. I did. So I stood in the pouring rain holding two cables brimming with voltage and wondering if I was going to end this day in the Intensive Care Unit. The Jetta (that blasted Jetta) started right up and I was on my way (after helping the attendant figure out what $6 times 7 was. Her calculator was down).
I picked up Wendy and the kids and we were going home.
Finally.
Home sweet home.
I'm not sure if you care or not, but as I was carrying the last bag into the house my son Ryan greeted me with, "Dad, the house is leaking!"
I spent the next two hours fixing gutters and sweeping water off my roof.
And it was just January 2nd.
Anyone else have other great starts to 2006?
Omaha.com
Dec 29, 2005 @ 10:12 AM
A couple of interesting things about trying to post or read e-mails when traveling (which I never do):
1) Dial up is painful.
2) It's actually harder to ignore Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius than the usual noise in my office (which includes random clapping, yelling, and gentle whispers from the chocolate by the printer).
I think we're expecting a high of 45 degrees today, so that means (like for many Midwesterners) a lot of being inside houses, malls, and cars.
They say no one walks in LA, well, I don't think the Missing Persons were ever in Omaha.
Man is Jimmy Neutron annoying.
Is there anything better than spending a weekend camping with friends in one of the most beautiful areas in North America?
Is there anything worse than having your Check Engine light come on 8,000 feet down in a canyon and more than 5 hours from home? (I put up that link so you can remember that Check Engine light feeling.)
We made it home, yes, and I think Wendy, my wife, has a newfound connection with God, as she spoke with Him the entire trip back.
I suspected that it was nothing after an hour of driving. After calling VW Monday, they confirmed it "was probably nothing" and said to bring it in Thursday.
Here's the thing: when I bring this car in, they will hook up a computer which will tell the mechanic exactly what is wrong (i.e., gas cap off, catalytic converter malfunctioning). Wouldn't it be nice if auto manufacturers built cars to give that information to the drivers themselves while on the road, instead of leaving the nice people inside to motor all the way home with white knuckles?
Doesn't Volkswagen mean the "people's car" anyway?
If showing your belly has become a fashion, why does every woman who wears a short shirt pull it down every five minutes?
Why do Monster Trucks and Hummers go so slowly over speed bumps? Aren't they designed to go over those things at 50mph?
At what age do you stop being called someone's little brother/sister? 40? 55? After your older siblings are deceased?
Why do the Rolling Stones continue to put out CDs?
Can anyone name a Rolling Stones hit within the last 20 years?
How the heck did NASCAR get so popular?
Why do land developers bulldoze stands of oak trees, then put up gated communities called "The Oaks"?
If old people are wise, is it this burden of wisdom that makes so many of them cranky?
Why do so many people who live in big dirty cities insist on eating organic food and yet people living out in places like Yosemite eat stuff like Doritos and Burger King?
Who, again, let the dogs out?
Is Doppler 7000 really all that much better than Doppler 6000?
Social Bookmarks
