Downhill Grade

I'm back!

After a week of travel to Philly, the Jersey Shore, and points beyond, I am back to ringing phones, 300 emails telling me who in the office has just gone to lunch, and a cubical full of boxes and, I kid you not, a wall-sized banner draped over my chair.

Looks like I was sorely missed.

But I'm back and semi-relaxed (okay, maybe too relaxed. Does it ever feel like you're in a time warp when you come back to work and realize how fast everyone is moving? It's a bit like a New Yorker on a visit to Memphis.)

The interesting thing about traveling, when you deal in the Creative and Marketing fields, is seeing where the rubber meets the road in terms of marketing.

For instance, I almost never rent cars. Instead I choose to have extended family haul me around from place to place or have them figure out which of their autos I can use when I'm in town (big surprise, it's usually the oldest vehicle. But heck, I really can't complain, can I?) So it was interesting to see how Hertz operated when I rented a car for this sojourn. I've seen a thousand of their ads, bill stuffers, and commercials about Hertz (In fact, I remember OJ Simpson flying into one of their vehicles at one point), but how does that compare with the reality of dealing with their company?

So instead of boring you with the details of how well my Italian relatives can cook (and man can they cook) or what it's like visiting a house with more bathrooms than backsides, I'll rate a few of the companies I got to use during my "trip outside".

Let's start with HERTZ RENT A CAR.

How easy was it to use their site? Incredibly. The price of their vehicles for the week was very competitive with the other rental companies. Cheaper, in fact, with a discount I got from my credit card company.

When I arrived at the Philly airport, they picked me up in their shuttle van quickly and courteously and whisked me away to their concrete bunker not far away. The line was short, but it was 6:15 in the morning, officially 3:15 my time, so I was hoping for that.

The guy behind the counter was nice, but, how do I say this, it was really, really difficult to understand what he was saying. Especially when he was trying to upsell me on something called Fuel Purchase Option. The guy said something about $6.99, a full tank, and how far away the gas stations were. I said sure (it was early and was only $6.99, I wasn't going to quibble). I signed my name and went to go get my car.

Weirdly, the car I requested, a speedy Taurus, wasn't in the space, instead there was a Hyundai SUV. I walked back to the office, showed the counter person my slip (my person was busy) and was told I was given an upgrade. Which would have been nice to know the first time at the counter, I thought they'd just written the wrong space number on the car and I'd be driving someone else's rental.

The car was clean, drove pretty well, and still had that New Car Smell. And, bonus, contained more cup holders than my car.

A few days later, however, when I looked at the bill they'd printed out, there was a mysterious $57.40 charge on it. For, yup, the afforementioned Fuel Purchase Option. I called Hertz HQ to try to figure out what this meant, and none of the customer reps (I spoke to 2) could explain exactly what this was. I ended up guessing that it was something to do with buying gas for the car so you could return it empty and not be charged. Both of the reps let me know they didn't really know about it and that I should call the Philadelphia Airport Hertz to get it straightened out. Easier said than done. No one answered the phone at that facility. I was put into a voice mailbox, twice, and no one called me back.

Not wanting to ruin my last day of vacation over 57 bucks I just took it in and got the skinny from the Hertz rep at the airport. Exactly as I thought, you prepay a tank of gas at a certain price and don't have to worry about returning the car full. Which is freat if you plan on driving until your tank is empty, but not such a great deal if you leave them with a half a tank of gas and eat $25.

Either way, being upsold on a product no one can explain to you, isn't the best way to rep your services. And, really, voice mail that no one returns for a customer who has questions? Booo.

Hertz's grade: B-

THE PARKING SPOT

I've tried less expensive options at LAX, like Johnny Park and Park Place, but last time I went to one of these places, the guys at the front looked a lot like they just bought it from someone else. They were also concerned that I had a reservation for a spot they may not actually have. Which are not the words you're looking for when your flight is taking off in 45 minutes. So this time I went to The Parking Spot. Why? Last time when my wife and two kids waited 25 minutes for the shuttle from the cheaper place, during which we saw 7,563 Parking Spot vans (my son counted them). I figured if I could hop off the plane, haul our stuff over to the curb, and get on a van, so much the better.

The Web site for The Parking Spot is decent. Not  good looking, mind you, but it works. And, really, for reservations, that's the point, right? We printed out our reservations and the directions to the facility were clear. However, coming into the lot was confusing. The paper said something about punching in a code and yet there was no place to punch in codes. We'd reserved a space on the roof, but the roof, the sign said, was full. Turned out we could drive to the roof anyway and spaces were available. Happily, I'd allowed myself enough time to allow for a few mistakes here.

They had complimentary water downstairs in the "lobby" (which was not so great looking, compared to a place like Wally Park) was warm, as they'd let the fridge go empty and just filled it up. The shuttle, as expected was quick, and got us to the airport in a couple minutes.

On the way back, though, after a 5 hour flight and 45 minutes waiting for some luggage that didn't come (see US Airways review), is where I was very glad to have used The Parking Spot.

My very, very tired family got on a shuttle within 5 minutes of stepping to the curb (note to LAX users, the Century City facility seems to have more frequent shuttles) and got to the lot quickly. Just in time to discover my car, the good old VW Jetta, dead as a doornail in the cheery, well-lit parking facility. Going downstairs, the customer service rep called a guy who came around with a Jump Start System to help me in less than two minutes. I grabbed three cold waters from the fridge and headed up with him. He got my car started in a minute and we were at the cashier in less than 10 minutes from finding out my car was dead. To top it all off, the cashier saw two tired kids in the car and gave them two bags of cookies (how about that, Becky?)

Like some racehorses, The Parking Spot started out slow, but really pulled through when we needed it.

The Parking Spot's grade: A-

VW Jetta's grade: D

US AIRWAYS

Hmm. Well...

Though our flight was delayed in Philly (the pilot was late) they got us to LA ahead of time. They lost our bag, even though it had only traveled from my hand to the TSA to the plane, then straight to LAX. In fact, they lost about 15 people's bags, most of whom were less than happy.

The US Airways self-service terminals have no person attending them. So in both LA and Philly it looked a lot like trying to take a plane out of Sicily sans women carrying chickens.

The guy at the ticket counter wouldn't respond to my questions, though (I believe) I was speaking to him in English and making direct eye contact.

Headphones for the movie were $5. The airline staff were complaining while serving passengers.

But! I've taken more expensive carriers and many times, they are just as bad, if not worse. And the seats were better than the United flight I took to Boston 2 weeks ago.

So, they get points for being just as bad as many of the other airlines, but significantly cheaper.

US Airway's grade: B-

There's a lesson here. And it's not "be happy with what you have" or "Tim is a big ol' whiner".

Next time you get customer service, think of the service that you, you yourself, would like to get.

Uh oh, too preachy?

I'd better catch up on those emails....