Tim Donnelly: June 2009 Archives

(from Julia Thahar, Recruiter)

With all the social media sites available, you would think that Recruiters and Hiring Managers would have an easy time finding great candidates by what each is blogging or Tweeting about, right? Unfortunately, when someone runs keyword searches they will find hundreds of prospective candidates, more than anyone could ever hope to contact.

So you might be asking, "How can I have Recruiters find me through Facebook, or Twitter, or LinkedIn?"

At Mashable.com, Search Firm CEO Boris Epstein shares his tips on how you can "pass the social media recruitment test" and have Hiring Managers and Recruiters find you instead of the other way around!

Pop over here for the rest of the story.

As an Actress and Model often used in stock photos on flyers, medical brochures, and government documents, I hope you realize I am not the best choice for answering your questions regarding emphysema, higher education savings plans, or big savings on meat products at your local grocery store.

I know you will appreciate that these are merely advertisements where my image has been used to generate your interest in a product or service and that these are not subjects on which I am expert.

While I have a strong interest and knowledge on subjects such as knitting, dressing on a budget, and geological formations in Mono Lake (I watched the special on PBS), I know virtually nothing about Taco Twos-Day at your local Mi Carne Loca restaurant.

Similarly, I have no idea how to have medication shipped to your door, as I have never met anyone from BestMeds.com and am not responsible for them flooding your e-mail account with discount offerings from their Canadian headquarters.

Just because you saw me wearing glasses and pointing at a chart on a time management training brochure, please don't ask about my preference for office calendar programs in a Windows environment. I can't remember where I dropped off my schnauzer, Pickles, for grooming.

I've never even worked in an office.

Which means, except for the photoshoots in which I was involved, I have never had someone lean over my shoulder to comment about an item on my computer screen, worn a hard hat, directed coworkers to the nearest exit wearing an orange safety vest, or tried to sneak a smoke while in the lavatory.

Yes, I travel. But when I do, I never leap into the air with my briefcase in the airport (an image used on the JetAmerica brochure). I'm not even sure you could do such a thing anymore without being approached by the TSA.

I don't have kids, but if I did I wouldn't let them eat a hamburger as I let my "children" do in stock shot #6580, as I am a devoted vegetarian.

I am not married to the model who looks like an older version of Ashton Kucher, which means our marriage couldn't possibly suffer from the sort medical of dysfunction indicated in that brochure.

I have not been diagnosed with eczema, bipolar manic depression, and/or bunions, nor do I need a course in remedial English or need to be educated on the proper handling of raw food in the kitchen.

So please stop pestering me with your inquiries.

In fact, all of us at the Stock Photo Model Union Local 544 hope there will come a day when you won't stop us in the grocery store because we seem vaguely familiar, then keep us from buying our food while you rack your brain, trying desperately to figure out why you know us.

We're letting you know right now: you don't know us at all.

We're the Models who play the people who have your chemical imbalance, buy your favorite car, and deal with the same child rearing issues as you do.

Remember that when you see a picture of two of us "sealing the deal" by shaking hands in an office, that the office is, in fact, made of plywood.

We're your Local 544.

And we ask you to leave us in peace so that we can go about our lives as normal human beings.

Thank you so much for your time.

And don't forget to see our show, staring a full cast of Models from our union,"Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" at the Garage Theatre, 1845 W. Broxton, N. Hollywood on Thursday and Friday nights through July 10th.

Tickets are only $18!

As an Actress and Model often used in stock photos on fliers, medical brochures, and government documents, I hope you realize I am not the best choice for answering your questions regarding emphysema, higher education savings plans, or big savings on meat products at your local grocery store.

I know you will appreciate that these are merely advertisements where my image has been used to generate your interest in a product or service and that these are not subjects on which I am expert.

While I have a strong interest and knowledge on subjects such as knitting, dressing on a budget, and geological formations in Mono Lake (I watched the special on PBS), I know virtually nothing about Taco Twos-Day at your local Mi Carne Loca restaurant.

Similarly, I have no idea how to have medication shipped to your door, as I have never met anyone from BestMeds.com and am not responsible for them flooding your e-mail account with discount offerings from their Canadian headquarters.

Just because you saw me wearing glasses and pointing at a chart on a time management training brochure, please don't ask about my preference for office calendar programs in a Windows environment. I can't remember where I dropped off my schnauzer, Pickles, for grooming.

I've never even worked in an office.

Which means, except for the photoshoots in which I was involved, I have never had someone lean over my shoulder to comment about an item on my computer screen, worn a hard hat, directed coworkers to the nearest exit wearing an orange safety vest, or tried to sneak a smoke while in the lavatory.

Yes, I travel. But when I do, I never leap into the air with my briefcase in the airport (an image used on the JetAmerica brochure). I'm not even sure you could do such a thing anymore without being approached by the TSA.

I don't have kids, but if I did I wouldn't let them eat a hamburger as I let my "children" do in stock shot #6580, as I am a devoted vegetarian.

I am not married to the model who looks like an older version of Ashton Kucher, which means our marriage couldn't possibly suffer from the sort medical of dysfunction indicated in that brochure.

I have not been diagnosed with eczema, bipolar manic depression, and/or bunions, nor do I need a course in remedial English or need to be educated on the proper handling of raw food in the kitchen.

So please stop pestering me with your inquiries.

In fact, all of us at the Stock Photo Model Union Local 544 hope there will come a day when you won't stop us in the grocery store because we seem vaguely familiar, then keep us from buying our food while you rack your brain, trying desperately to figure out why you know us.

We're letting you know right now: you don't know us at all.

We're the Models who play the people who have your chemical imbalance, buy your favorite car, and deal with the same child rearing issues as you do.

Remember that when you see a picture of two of us "sealing the deal" by shaking hands in an office, that the office is, in fact, made of plywood.

We're your Local 544.

And we ask you to leave us in peace so that we can go about our lives as normal human beings.

Thank you so much for your time.

And don't forget to see our show, staring a full cast of Models from our union,"Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" at the Garage Theatre, 1845 W. Broxton, N. Hollywood on Thursday and Friday nights through July 10th.

Tickets are only $18!

Being someone who:

a) lives with a vegetarian
b) works closely with the design industry
c) buys a lot of organic items on a weekly basis

I have to say how surprised I am that:

a) the organic movement has taken off the way it has
b) many organic foods I see are still sold in non-recyclable containers

I always thought that if the organic/green movement grabbed hold, it would follow that many of the companies selling these organic items to consumers would naturally (ha!) choose recyclable materials to package their products. But that doesn't seem to be the case, especially in the organic food aisle. Baby carrots, bagged lettuce, broccoli, cauliflower, onions, garlic, etc. all shipped and sold in non-recyclable plastic bags.

And yes, I cringe every time I crumple one up and throw it away. (Thanks, Olivia.)

According to the "one of the world's leading authorities on plastic pollution," Dr. Anthony Andrady, Sr. Research Scientist at North Carolina's Research Triangle, "Except for a small amount that's been incinerated, every bit of plastic manufactured in the world for the last 50 years or so still remains. It's somewhere in the environment."

That figure might not be so scary until you realize we only started making plastic 50 years ago.

Anthony is, I believe, one of the people who has been talking about the island of plastic the size of Texas (yes that Texas), floating in the South Pacific.

I'm not sure what the disconnect is, quite, and maybe any of you Packaging Designers can enlighten me - why would a company that sells organic produce not think about the waste generated by their packaging?

I don't think it's cost. It doesn't take a business whiz to figure out that the people who buy organic foods are willing to spend a lot more for their food products - a couple pennies more on packaging wouldn't make or break the sale.

A few years ago, I got to see Chris Hacker, former Creative Director for the ultra-eco company Aveda, and to see some of the amazing, creative (and yes, outside the plastic bag/box) thinking his team was coming up with for packaging their products.

Maybe, like organic farmers themselves, it will just take a few rugged companies to be brave enough to set the standard for selling their produce, start the revolution, and have everyone else follow in their green tracks.

Otherwise, I'm afraid that track is now heading toward a giant floating island of polymers floating somewhere in the Pacific.


(Recycled milk crate image by SOCIALisBETTER)

Memorandum

To: All Bounty Hunters
From: Finance

Date: June 11, 2009

RE: New Reimbursement Procedures

As discussed during the introduction of our new CFO, Col. J.T. Blessington (USAF Ret.), we now have many new procedures that each of you will need to follow in the submission of your reimbursement forms.

Please read this memo carefully. Put it where you can see it when filling out your forms, whether that's a desk or the back of your 1978 Harley-Davidson FXS 1200 Low Rider.

Wanted posters will be now be paid out at 50 cents per sheet. This means if your poster "absolutely requires" a spot varnish or four-color separation, you will be paying for that out of your pocket. Contrary to popular belief, a well-designed wanted poster works no better than a poorly designed one. We are in the business of capturing criminals, not promoting public art.

Overnight stays at sleazy motels will now be classified under Living Expense (#6340) instead of Lodging (#6360). You will no longer be compensated for pay-per-view movies, items purchased from a mini-fridge, or anything previously classified as "Room Service" (which was vague to say the least).

Essential field items, such as Wrist Cameras will still be covered under Office Equipment (#6220), but we will no longer be paying for added features, i.e., Wrist Camera with GPS or Wrist Camera with Magic 8 Ball Fortune Teller feature (I say: Not Likely, Signs Point to No, Don't Count on It).

Of note, WE WILL NO LONGER BE REIMBURSING FOR THROWING STARS! If you purchased stars before the start of the month, these will be grandfathered. Otherwise, you are out of luck.
HQ will no longer approve weapon expenditures that are, in reality, personal items. These include items like BBQ spatulas, saltwater fishing reels, and cold compress sleeping masks. What's that mean? Do not write in the Supplies column (#5352) "Lenox Pasta Bowl, Butterfly Meadow Pattern" followed by "Clocked a bail jumper with it." If you have decided to get married (D. Dawg), do not use our Expense Reports as your wedding registry. Get some friends.
You will also no longer be reimbursed for Office Supplies like highlighters, staple removers, and yellow Sticky-Notes. No one here could come up with a compelling reason why a Bounty Hunter would actually need any of these items.

All expenses in excess of $25 must have their original invoice/receipt attached.

Actual receipts are needed for quick processing of forms. The back of a napkin signed by the owner of a local watering hole is not enough.

DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, ATTACH HUMAN HAIR OR ANY OTHER BODY PART TO THE REIMBURSEMENT FORM!!! These will be returned to you unprocessed (and untouched).

When calculating expenses for an event (e.g., Barroom Brawl), please itemize and list ALL attendees. This is not the same as snitching! We are in Finance; our friends and family could care less who was there when you snagged El Guapo. (On a side note, when you are visiting our staff lunchroom, please keep stories about how you subdued a "skipper" to a bare minimum. Other staff members do not care to hear how much blood was left on the sidewalk after you captured Legs Caprizzo while they are trying peacefully eat their Lean Cuisines.)

Bounty Hunters will no longer be allowed to use the Other With Explanation column. Previous entries have ranged from the ridiculous to the spectacularly bizarre.

Miles ridden in boxcars, hiding behind the cab of a sixteen wheeler, or being dragged bodily behind a vehicle DO NOT qualify as Mileage (#6375) or Ground Transportation (#6310).
 
Please put your Social Security Number on the form. This is not a government conspiracy nor do we intend to open up a credit line then "max it out" at Best Buy.

We also need a mailing address, so we can send you the reimbursement check. We will not meet you at a non-descript corner and pay out in cash (D. Dawg).

These are the new rules, folks.

Do NOT bother coming down here to our Department and staring menacingly at us through the doorway.

We handle your 401(k), your payroll, and your health and dental benefits.

We are tougher than you.

We are Finance.

Now get back to work.
 

I was planning on blogging about our annual AIGA | Aquent Survey of Design Salaries (which is a bit of a misnomer, as it includes Web Developers and Copywriters), but I don't know if I'm late already.

See that's the problem with Twitter, I'm doing a million other things and getting ready to write about the survey and I see that's it's already been tweeted a hundred times. Now I know how those document copying monks must have felt about Gutenberg.

But maybe I'm just being stubborn. The point is to make sure everyone knows about it, right? Not to be the first person to tell everyone about it.

A warning before you try to print this whole doc up from the AIGA site: it's 48 pages long.

Might want to read it as a PDF.

Be the first to tell your friends!

I admit it, I have no idea what Tots, Tykes, Tweens, or Teens are into. Why? Because that's not my core audience for anything I write for Aquent.

In fact, if I was into whatever that audience is, I think it'd be rather suspicious, don't you think? Plus, as the father of a elementary school daughter, I can't imagine listening to the Jonas Brothers for one moment more than I already have to.

All this would, of course, change in a heartbeat if my audience actually changed to Tykes, Tots, Tweens, and/or Teens. Which, let's face it, happens to Marketers and Creatives with alarming regularity when they, say, switch from being on the Crest Whitestrips line and start working on the Crest for Kids one.

Reason enough, wouldn't you say, for us to be hosting another AMA/Aquent Webcast later this June on this very topic: Insight You Need to Successfully Market to Tweens and Teens.

The Senior Vice President of C&R Research, Brenda Hurley, is going to try to help you understand the ever-elusive Tween and Teen market. Highlights of the talk will include:

• What they do with their free time
• What's important in their lives today
• Their relationship with technology and its role in their lives
• Their engagement with social issues
• Where they get their money and the power of their spending
• How today's economy is impacting them
• How they find out about new products

(I can answer that last one. "TV and their friends".)

Did I mention it's free?

Just pop over to the site and register for the June 23rd Webcast.

And when we're done listening, we'll all know what to buy our nieces and nephews for their birthdays.

That's like a two-fer!

January 7, 1975

Omaha, NE


Dear Claire,

On the road again with the team and visiting some of the friendly faces in the Midwest.

Funny how they call it the Midwest, isn't it? If our founding fathers had landed in Los Angeles, I guess they'd call it the Mideast.

These are just some of the wandering thoughts you get crossing the country by bus with your basketball team.

All of us Washington Generals are doing fine, thank you. John sends his love and Michael said to be sure and save him some of your next apple pie! I can't wait to be home again. Looks like we'll be finishing out the season in late May if all goes as planned.

This season continues to be an incredibly poor one. I'm sad to say that we have yet to win one single game. Again. After so many consecutive losses over so many successive seasons, I'm beginning to wonder if the Generals are suffering from some sort of curse.

I'm being too hard on us, of course. The plain fact is, being the only team to oppose the incredibly gifted Harlem Globetrotters for the last 10 years has its good and bad points.

Like Meadowlark Lemon getting me again with that yo-yo basketball trick yesterday.

Which is one of the bad points.

I don't know why I go for that ball every time, but like Charley Brown and his nemesis Lucy, I always feel that this will be the time I get that basketball.

And the way he pulls it back right at the last moment; it's just infuriating, Claire.

And it's not just me. All the Generals agree that no matter how unprofessional the Globetrotters become, the referees never call fouls on them. (They do, however, catch all our fouls. At least once a game I manage to knock down Meadowlark, then he gets carried off to the bench moaning and groaning while they bandage his arm. When I ask him what's the matter, he always tells me, "I hurt my other arm." It never fails!)

Another example, Curly Neal always runs through the stands with a bucket of "water" and the ref actually chases after him! Of course the "water" turns out to be confetti, but still, it does make you wonder whose side these referees are actually on.

Balls are attached to long elastic bands and pop right out of the basket, sometimes they're weighted so they bounce erratically across the court, and every so often one won't bounce at all because it's made of clay.

You would think that with two professional teams playing a competitive basketball game more of the official NBA regulations would be enforced, but this just doesn't seem to be the case.

I have actually started to believe that we are all involved in some sort of enormous joke, with the Generals playing the straight men to the Globetrotters' comedic antics.

I know you'd say it's just paranoia talking, but after 1,335 successive losses to the same team, I am beginning to have some of my suspicions confirmed.

I haven't mentioned this to any of the other guys, as I don't want to dishearten them while we're still in the season.

Probably just my rather active imagination running away with me, as the Temptations might say.

Well, it's getting late, so I'd better put on my headphones and get some sleep. I just got the new KC & the Sunshine Band 8-Track, and I will tell you that it's awesome!

One of the guys here has one of those new 8-Track burners; I'll make you a copy and send it along as soon as I have time.

Tomorrow's another day and another opportunity, right?

And this time I'm sure we'll get those Globetrotters for sure!!


Yours forever,

Gary 

(From guest poster, Greg Carter)

The night, I purchased tickets online for a theatrical event. Yeah, I know, very exciting, but why I'm bringing this up is because of the checkout process.

Thanks to the email from the theater troupe, I found the show listing with relative ease. But after selecting two tickets and clicking checkout, I was asked to create an account (or login if I already had one, which I didn't), click the link to create an account, and an exasperating five separate pages later, I was finally able to order the tickets.

Lucky for the troupe, I really wanted to see this particular show, or else I would have given up the process long ago.

It's a glaring design flaw such as this that authors Lance Loveday and Sandra Niehaus hope to combat with their book Web Design for ROI. (ROI stands for "return on investment", or this according to Investopedia.)

True, the theater probably does need all that information to process the ticket order, but a simpler process, something that takes into account the user and his/her reactions, would probably decrease frustration and increase online ticket sales.

Your company may have hundreds of fantastic products for which the public is hungering, but if the home page is too cluttered with information and images, or searching for a specific item turns into a hunt for Dr. Livingstone, or the potential buyer can't tell the "Add to Cart" button from the "Exit" button, then your site may not be doing its job. However, instead of spending thousands of dollars to re-design your entire site, Loveday and Niehaus suggest perhaps a little tweaking to the design, how pages are laid out, will show a quicker and better response.

Take into account your users. Most people quickly skim a homepage, looking for information important to them. Long paragraphs probably won't hold their interest, so why not try headlines in a bolder type, stronger color and have the headline link to another page with that information or story. People also tend to read from left to right, top to bottom, so creating your pages with that flow in mind will make the experience a more pleasant one. Or, as a rebuttal to my ticket purchase example, give the user the option of creating an account or not.

REI's checkout process does exactly that, and I can say from my own experience, I liked not having to create a password and enter account information just to by a one-time gift (for my brother since I'm the farthest thing from outdoorsy you could imagine). Design a good user experience, and the user is likely to return or to even recommend your site to their friends.

Web Design for ROI offers other simple, common sense techniques to re-work the design of a site to make it more productive and effective. For anyone who designs sites or has a say in their creation, this book would be an incredibly useful tool.

(Photo by haydnseek)