But after a year (and almost a half) we finally have office signage.

This may limit the number of people coming into our office and asking if we are RadarWorks.
Or not.
But after a year (and almost a half) we finally have office signage.

This may limit the number of people coming into our office and asking if we are RadarWorks.
Or not.
Thanks for all your help making the ASAP Job List work better! We're rolling out a few of the changes this week, with more to come.
Most notably, all jobs will be listed in this email. We'll also be grouping the jobs by Marketing, Print, and Web and adding numbers for easy reference.
You, of course, are still welcome to our blog (and the Local Networking Events) by clicking here.
Please let us know if you have any feedback!
Thanks!
-----------------------
The Aquent ASAP Job List
"Made in a Factory That Also Manufactures Items Containing Tree Nuts"
Interested in a position?
PLEASE E-MAIL THE AGENT (see links for each job):
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THIS WEEK'S POSITIONS:
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#1. Project / Marketing Manager
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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#2. Marketing Manager of Strategy and Alliance
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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# 3. Editorial Project Manager (Proposals)
TERMS: Long-Term Freelance (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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#4. Graphic Designer
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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#5. Copywriter
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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#6. Associate On-Line Community Manager / Designer
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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#7. Web Editor
TERMS: Long-Term Freelance (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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# 8. Sr. Web Designer with Flash Animation Skills
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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# 9. Interactive Art Director / Sr. Web Designer
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS INTERESTED AND QUALIFIED:
Forward them this email and have them drop your name to the Agent.
INTERESTED IN OTHER AQUENT POSITIONS?
Go here, my friend, then select Job Openings
* MyAquent users, use your UserName & Password to express interest in jobs. Everybody else, the registration is easy!
The JOB CENTER will track which jobs you've applied for and the current status.

A few years ago, not long after I started this blog (yes, a few YEARS.. where'd the time go?), Amy Joyce over at The Washington Post interviewed me about blogging.
As with all interviews, our 20 minutes spent on the phone was boiled down to a paragraph or two at the end of her column.
Yes, the Direct Marketing Association has announced their keynote speakers for their October conference in Vegas.
(I was going to put links there, but do I really want a link from my blog to that middle one? It's a corporate blog here, people.)
Their Thought Leadership Series will cover:
Weird, talking about responsibility in Vegas, huh?
Well, you've got to have a conference somewhere, right?
And if you're wondering, "Direct Mail! ACK, I hate Direct Mail!", there's hope:
Go to DMA's Consumer Information site and get your name off lists you no longer wish to be on.
I'll be here all week, folks.
Grand Theft Mini-Auto IV: Escape from the Shriners
You are G. Willikers, ex-hit man for the KFC.
You've left war-torn Slovostan when the bottom dropped out of its fragile PEZ-based economy and have come back the big city of Chutzpah only to find a town rife with danger.
And there's no turning back.
Mean-spirited Shriners have taken this bustling metropolis by storm and are running amok in the streets. A sea of red fezzes undulates wildly and threatens each of the peace-loving citizens with obscene balloon animals, well liquor, and little red automobiles.
No one is safe.
Including you, G.
Now you must mercilessly beat a Shriner clown, obtain his tiny, low-speed vehicle, and make it to through each of the 8 boroughs to save the people of Chutzpah from this fuzzy red-hatted menace.
Easy?
Hardly.
More than a few obstacles stand in your way:
There's nowhere to run, there's nowhere to hide.
Are you prepared?
You'd better be, because
Grand Theft Mini-Auto: Escape from the Shriners
Comes into stores April 14th, 2008!
(Or so. The programmers are working furiously.)
In the meantime, enjoy our other G. Willikers titles:
Grand Theft Bumper Car: How Do I Get this Thing into Reverse?
Grand Theft Rental Moving Van: Didn't You Box Anything Before I Got Here?
Grand Theft Commuter: Hands-Free Driving Edition
HOT TALENT
Now that Old Man Winter has finally gone, we wanted to unveil Aquent's brand new Spring Collection.
That's right, beginning this Monday, every person in our office will be sporting stylish spring attire.
From our Account Directors to our Accounts Payable, we're sure you'll agree our natty new outfits produce a level of service that's brighter, more refined, and ultimately, more "springy".
(Though some of this may be due in part to our newly installed espresso maker.)
And if you think our service is impressive, just check out the services these six amazing Aquent Talent have to offer!
Follow the links for profiles, samples, and resumes.
Sproing!
__________________________________________________
FEATURED TALENT THIS WEEK
Josh K. - Flash | Interactive Developer
Jenna R. - Web Content Producer
Hilary B. - User Experience Researcher
Heather K. - Graphic Designer | Art Director
Joyce H. - Production | Graphic Design
Jordan A. - Web Producer | Project Manager
__________________________________________________
Josh K.
Flash | Interactive Developer
Recently relocating from San Francisco to our own sunny clime, Josh is a fantastic all-around Developer with a keen eye for design and UI.
Scoring a whopping 5 out of 5 points on our intricate ActionScripting assessment, he's got skills to spare, including fluency in XHTML, HTML, CSS, and PHP with MySQL.
At Venables Bell and Partners, he developed complex Flash projects for the likes of HBO, Audi, PG&E, and Orville Redenbacher. He acted as liaison between rich media vendors, freelancers and creative/interactive departments and created an AJAX-enabled project management system to help everything run effortlessly!
His background includes all aspects of interactive design/development and video production from concept to stunning delivery.
An outstanding Aquent Talent we're exceedingly happy to have in town!
See his on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
__________________________________________________
Jenna R.
Web Content Producer
Jenna's a smart, powerhouse Producer who was most recently managing all editorial content production for the Disney Travel and Disney Family sites.
While on staff Jenna developed overall strategy and back-end CMS structure, collaborated on interactive design, and managed a team of 6 editorial on-site staff and 20 off-site freelancers.
As Senior Editor at AOL City Guide, she was responsible for programming and managing 7 major markets, including Las Vegas, which received over 1 million pageviews a month. She managed a team of more than 20 remote freelance writers across the country and implemented back-end changes which allowed Editors to be up to 40% more efficient in their work.
In addition to Jenna's extensive content development and project management experience, she also has a strong technical know how and can build a CMS system from scratch (which she did for AOL, consequently increasing office efficiency by a whopping 75%).
Armed with a great attitude, terrific skills, and a MENSA membership (we told you she was smart), you're going to wish you'd hired her years ago!
See her on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
__________________________________________________
Heather K.
Graphic Designer | Art Director
OUCH!
That's what our Mac said after Heather blazed through both our Quark and Photoshop assessments in record time.
On top of that, she is an amazing Designer who is talented and funny.
Her satisfied client roster includes DreamWorks SKG, Geffen Records, Gramercy Pictures, Walt Disney Co., Tiger Beat & BOP, and a bevy of others for whom she's created everything from packaging and magazines to CD covers and ads.
A detailed hands-on wonder, she can take any of your ideas straight through from concept to production.
With red-hot speed!
See her on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Temporary and Permanent
__________________________________________________
Hilary B.
User Experience Researcher
Hilary has extensive experience with research and market research, including usability testing, concept testing, customer satisfaction metrics, competitive analysis, contextual inquiry, eye tracking, and so much more.
If you need to know it, she'll find it out for you.
At Yahoo! Hilary worked on both Enterprise Applications and Mass Market Web Sites, conducting heuristic reviews, moderating sessions, synthesizing findings, and tracking recommendations to see how well they worked. At Move, Inc. (formerly Homestore), she managed and ran a user research program for a suite of major consumer Web sites which got a whopping 11 million unique monthly views.
Her background includes work at Sandia National Laboratories, and TiVo and she has her Masters in Communication from Stanford University.
Incredibly passionate about her work, let Hilary help you stay ahead of the game!
See her on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
__________________________________________________
Joyce H.
Production | Graphic Design
Just back with Aquent, Joyce is an accomplished Production Artist highly skilled in Quark, Photoshop, and InDesign and with a great eye for layout design.
As a staff Designer for biomedical company Dako Corporation and as a freelancer at Fausset Printing and BioSource/Invitrogen, she's created 300+ page catalogs, brochures, tradeshow displays, direct mail campaigns, product promotions, and much more. She's a consummate Technical Illustrator and adept at coordinating all phases of print production, including prepping files, proofing bluelines, and conducting press checks.
Open to both off-site and on-site work, she's available immediately!
See her on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
__________________________________________________
Jordan A.
Web Producer | Project Manager
Most recently at Tinkerstreet Creative Group and Amp'd Mobile, Jordan has extensive experience producing high-quality Web content for multi-million dollar accounts.
At Amp'd, he was instrumental in launching the company's site, conceiving and producing on-line content for the site and mobile phones, interfacing and coordinating with marketing and 7 content teams, negotiating with and managing third-party vendors, and providing creative direction for the Web design team and marcom departments.
At Tinkerstreet, Jordan was the main client contact for all accounts, and his duties included branding and development and overseeing teams of designers and coders to fulfill all marketing needs from Web site production to print advertising.
Jordan has great experience managing both creative and technical requirements for the Web, even on gargantuan projects!
See his on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent

THIS WEEK'S POSITIONS:
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POSITION: Account Supervisor
TERMS: Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Fulfillment Project Manager
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Proofreader
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Marketing Account Manager
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Interactive Project Manager
TERMS: 6- to 8-Week Freelance (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Web Email Campaign Manager
TERMS: Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Online Project Manager
TERMS: 6-Month Freelance (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Girls Packaging Designer
TERMS: Long-Term Freelance (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Production Coordinator for DVD
TERMS: Long-Term Freelance (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: New Media Manager
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Creative Project Manager
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Sr. Web Designer
TERMS: 3-Week Freelance (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
Unless you don't mind weeping openly at your desk.
I might be late to show this video lecture by Randy Pausch, but I think it might be inspirational enough to go in the Really Must See category.
Randy is a Professor at Carnegie Mellon University, who was diagnosed with metastatic pancreatic cancer and given 3 to 6 months to live in August of '07.
This is his reprised "Last Public Lecture," titled "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams, reprised here on Oprah.
(This is 11 minutes long, just so you know in advance...)
IN THIS ISSUE:
Hot Talent
Featured Talent This Week
That Bit at the End - "A Small Victory"
Subscribe | Unsubscribe Information
__________________________________________________
HOT TALENT
To celebrate Frozen Food Month we're writing, editing, and sending you this week's newsletter from the inside of a walk-in meat locker!
And its not just because we're out to win the coveted Golden Penguin Award.
Or because we kicked out the Sales team out of the conference room yesterday and they locked us in here to teach us a lesson.
Okay, it was pretty much because of that last item.
Which is why we're asking after you read about these fabulous Aquent Talent to call our Area Manager and have her unlock the freezer before we can't type anymore.
So you can enjoy the rest of your day without the nagging feeling that you helped freeze a marketing staff.
Just follow the links for profiles, samples, and resumes.
Brrrrrrr!
__________________________________________________
FEATURED TALENT THIS WEEK
Scott W. - Interactive Art Director
Lisa M. - Art Director | Graphic Designer
Susan K. - Flash | Graphic Designer
Katie C. - Brand Planner
Lillian T. - Associate Marketing Manager
Kelly M. - Proofreader & Copyeditor
__________________________________________________
Scott W.
Interactive Art Director
If you love your Tots, read on!
The creator of the much-celebrated opening sequence of the film Napoleon Dynamite (and the Web site for the film), Scott's amazing portfolio contains stunning print, Web, and broadcast/film work for the likes of Roxy, Quicksilver, Nickelodeon, NBC Universal, Billabong, and Decent Denim.
For these companies and more he's art directed catalogs, outdoor advertisements, posters, on-line and print campaigns, photo shoots, and produced sites for well-loved properties such as Nickelodeon's Yo Gabba Gabba.
His hands-on skills include Flash animation, Photoshop, InDesign, Illustrator, Final Cut Pro, After Effects, light HTML coding...
And a brilliant conceptual mind!
See his on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
__________________________________________________
Lisa M.
Art Director | Graphic Designer
For more than 13 years Lisa's art directed and designed for consumer and trade publications including NewBeauty, Luxe Colorado, and Film Music Magazine and companies with her marketing expertise to improve customer response with targeted promotional designs.
At busy direct mail company JetMail, she was responsible for all art production including design and print production as well as managing a myriad of direct mail and email campaigns.
Her freelance design background includes media kits, proposals, ads, Web graphics, stationery, and more for the likes of AYSO, Canon Communications, CinemaTrax, Doug Crowder Law, and many more.
An excellent eye for detail, passion for her work, and excellent hands-on skills, we know you're going to love her!
See her on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
__________________________________________________
Susan K.
Flash | Graphic Designer
An Art Center educated Designer who loves integrating typography with motion, imagery, and time, Susan's Web design can liven up any browser!
Former Sr. Web Designer at Express.com, she was responsible for creating (daily) new design content and completely redesigning their DVD.com site. As Assistant AD at The Hollywood Reporter, she created dynamic work in a heavy deadline environment, including producing their 700+ page "Blu-book" directory. Her print work includes annual reports, collateral, print ads, and packaging, and her 5+ years of Web work include everything from design to execution. Susan's client roster includes Kaiser McEuen, ARCO, Mattel Toys, Vivitar, Jamdat Mobile, and The Museum of Science and Industry.
She's got great Flash animation skills and would be a perfect fit in any environment!
See her on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance
__________________________________________________
Katie C.
Brand Planner
A recent relo from San Francisco, Katie has a ton of agency experience and is looking for her next long-term opportunity here in our own City of Angels.
Most recently Lead Strategist at Business Objects for the overhaul of their Web site, she helped uncover key insights to help discover the most effective ways to leverage their brand. She determined business obstacles, category trends, consumer truths and go-to-market plans and was involved in new business assignments for clients such as Virgin America, Sephora cosmetics, the Gap, and Delta Dental.
As Brand Planner for Fallon Worldwide, she collaborated with an outside quantitative research company to manage Citi's entire ongoing advertising tracking study as well as researched, gathered insights, and composed creative briefs for various Citi products.
Open to agency or client side, her roster currently includes Nordstrom, Brawny, and Apple...
Why not add your company to this distinguished list?
See her on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
__________________________________________________
Lillian T.
Associate Marketing Manager
Also relocated from the North, Lillian was most recently at Oregon Scientific, a leader in upscale lifestyle electronic products, overseeing the launch of new products for over 100 retail storefronts. Her creative direction helped the design team develop targeted POP displays, Web sites, e-commerce, product packaging, and collateral. She was also instrumental in collaborating with the marketing team to create marketing plans and promotions and working closely with the company's Hong Kong R&D team to produce new products for the North American market.
As Project Manager at Nike working on niketown.com, she collaborated with merchandisers and digital producers to schedule retail Web site promotional planning for product launches and ensure all brand initiatives were followed to the letter.
Fluent in English and both the Mandarin and Cantonese dialects of Chinese, we know you'll love her in any language!
See her on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance
__________________________________________________
Kelly M.
Proofreader & Copyeditor
Kelly is an editorial superstar!
A Proofreader and Copy Editor with an extensive experience in the publishing industry (including scientific scholarly journals), Kelly FLEW through our proofreading assessment nabbing top scores.
As Editor for the American Psychological Association, she oversaw a team of Production Editors and Editorial Assistants and their work on 10 journals. She was also in charge of hiring staff and training them on editing and production techniques specific to the manuscripts and scientific journals.
Her staff experience includes top work at the American Anthropological Association and the global law firm Debevoise & Plimpton.
With her amazing attention to detail and great attitude, Kelly would be a great fit for any freelance opportunity!
See her on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance
I blame Marcy, the receptionist, for this.
I asked her for the bathroom key and she obviously gave me the mailbox key instead.
So when I walked through the bathroom door using the wrong key and then shut it behind me, how was I to know that I'd be locked in our mailbox until Monday morning?
I think Marcy set me up.
This also brings up several interesting questions:
1) Why does the mailbox key open the men's bathroom?
2) Now that I'm stuck in the mailbox, have I gotten any smaller?
And, most importantly:
3) If #2 is correct, will unlocking the mailbox with the bathroom key return me to normal size?
The only refreshing thing about this experience is, of course, the downtime to think. And time is all I've got, I've been in here for hours.
Unfortunately, the only thing I've been thinking about is whether or not I am only 6 inches tall.
Which might not be so bad as I could probably save a heck of a lot of money on food, not to mention clothing. Depending on my height, I could either dress like Ken or G.I. Joe.
Here's a strange thought: many other consumables will remain the same price. I imagine I'll still be charged the same for bus fare, movies, and airline tickets, for example.
Why is that sort of stuff cheaper for children, anyway? It's obviously not based on height, because then people of short stature would pay less than big people. Probably works off the "children don't earn a living" theory. Which holds water for me.
But you would reason, though, people with less hair would get charged less for haircuts? Not the reality, is it? I mean, if I'm 6 inches tall, then I have significantly less hair than a 6-foot guy who has a head of hair like Willie Nelson, then I should be charged less for a haircut.
In fact, if there's another guy who is six inches tall (and who knows, there might be, just a few boxes away) and he's going bald, then I should pay more than him. Which is something I frankly don't mind.
Speaking of which, if the money in my wallet and pockets shrunk with me, is it still legal tender or has it now been reduced to play money? That'd be a blow, because I just got $160 out of the ATM in preparation for the weekend.
There goes Catalina with the wife. Though, notably, spending a weekend by the pool and swimming in a margarita wouldn't be half bad. It'd probably be one of the few high points of this experience.
I've got to calm down, I may not actually be 6 inches tall. I could be 7 inches, maybe 8.
That could make all the difference when trying to find a nice little desk and chair.
Could I use my cell phone to get out of this jam? Maybe if I'd thought to bring it with me. Certainly of no use to me now, if it's full sized, as I'd be trying to hop from button to button.
How am I going to use my computer or do any work, for that matter?
My wife will never tolerate this. She almost had a cardiac arrest last July when I broke my nose. She's big on appearances. It's going to get nasty, I'm sure. I've got to find a good lawyer. And make sure he can get a judge who would be lenient on someone just a bit taller than a Krispy Kreme.
What's that noise?
What if a spider comes in here and attacks me? Or a rat?
I've got to find some sort of weapon!
If only it wasn't so dark in here...
Good, here's a big piece of wood. Alright now! Bring it on, Ratty!
Why the heck is a piece of wood in our mailbox?
Kitschy direct mail piece? Quite possibly.
Wait, it's got something soft and wet on the other end. Kind of like a mop.
It is a mop!
What kind of idiot puts a little damp mop into a mailbox? Hey and there's a little water bucket and broom in here, too.
What the heck do people think this is, a broom closet?
Wait a minute...

You know there's a lot to be said for friendly competition, which is why I'm going to let you know why our resident Minister of Enlightenment and HQ Blogger, Mr. Matt Grant, has a blog well worth visiting.
For one, he gets access to incredibly interesting people in both the Marketing and Creative fields.
Two, he podcasts a lot, so you can listen on the way home or in the comfort of your own Elliptical Machine.
Three, he's incredibly smart and insightful.
Yes, it sounds as if I might marry him.
Not to worry, he's taken.
And is really, really not my type.
Really.
To prove my point this week Matt has a two-part conversation with James Intriligator, a man who received his doctorate in psychology from Harvard and now has a post in the Center for Neuroscience and Consumer Psychology at the University of Wales, Bangor.
James is currently doing quite a bit of work on how the brain perceives brands and how brands build up in brains over time.
Though it's no man rapping about sectional furniture, it's pretty compelling stuff.
You can check out the whole interview at The Talent Blog.
Or all the episodes over at iTunes.
Tomorrow back to me.
THIS WEEK'S POSITIONS:
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POSITION: Interactive Art Director
TERMS: Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Brand Planner
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Designer
TERMS: Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Sr. Executive Assistant
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: TV Promo Writer/Producer
TERMS: Long-Term Freelance (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Off-Site PR Manager
TERMS: Part-Time Freelance (Off-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Web Designer with Flash
TERMS: Long-Term Freelance (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Creative Project Manager
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Product Designer
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Interactive Art Director
TERMS: Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
I'm not sure what the heck is going on here, but this guy is giving Sit n Sleep's annoying "You're Killing Me, Larry" ads a run for their money.
Now I must run out and buy furniture.
It's like a mini mall!
Are you dying from endlessly trying to emulate Martha Stewart Living?
Does Better Homes and Gardens seem to be telling you, "Well, better than your home, anyway"?
Is Real Simple not quite simple enough?
Then SOUR is the magazine for you!
SOUR is the monthly publication for those whose lives have fallen far short of their early potential.
Our editorial staff has taken to heart our magazine's motto:
"The Art of Fine Living with Your Regrets"
If you ever thought you'd be President of the United States, a millionaire by 40, or really anything other than miserable and languishing in middle management at a company you abhor, let us send you a free trial issue of SOUR.
You know you've failed, but why turn to other magazines who seem to believe that you're suddenly going to turn your life around?
Do you really think the freelance magazine writer telling you how to organize your home office didn't write the article from a desk stacked to the rafters with unfinished articles, unpaid invoices, and half-hearted first stabs at novels?
Did the Editor leave out the part of the Build It Yourself Patio article when the couple fought for 4 days about whether it should be brick or Saltillo tile?
Of course they did.
SOUR writers, editors, and photographers have been there and done that. They understand the chances of you putting down the magazine to train for a marathon or start your own lavender farm are exactly zero.
They write, photograph, and edit from their broken, misshapen hearts, then pass along their discouraging perspectives to you.
Just take a look at this month's thrilling offerings:
· Five Fabulous Vacation Places WAY Out of Your Budget
· Readers Poll: Your Biggest Disappointment To Date
· 7 Easy Kitchen Makeovers That, Let's Face It, You'll Never Get Around To
· Fun Optical Illusions! Roll Your Eyes To See What These Shapes Actually Are!
· More Fashion Choices You Really Shouldn't Try
· Why Parties Seem to Get Better Right After You Leave
· Stop Daydreaming About Your Old High School Sweetheart (It Would Have Never Worked Out)
· Smart People, Dumb Choices: The Story of Our Lives
· The DO NOTHING DIET: Incredibly Low Expectations = Guaranteed Success!
· Why Watching the Food Network is Better Than Actually Cooking
· Profile: Alex Taubins - Why He Gave Up a Career in the Arts to be a Stock Broker
· Dining Alone Without Seeming Really Pathetic
· Get in Shape For Summer! (Kidding! Latest Summer Film Sneaks)
Subscribe today and receive absolutely FREE, two of the latest book offerings from SOUR Press:
· 50 Things You Won't Do To Save the Earth
· Men from Mars, Women from Venus, and Bosses from Hell
Sound too good to be true?
(Well it shouldn't, because we charge you for shipping on the books. But, hey, we told you up front.)
As for your first issue of SOUR, prepare to be pleasantly surprised!
But you should first set your expectations rather low.
Otherwise it'll probably just confirm your suspicions that nothing's ever as good as it seems.
Frankly, we don't blame you.
IN THIS ISSUE:
Hot Talent
Featured Talent This Week
That Bit at the End - "These Are Titanic Times"
Subscribe | Unsubscribe Information
__________________________________________________
HOT TALENT
We're still collecting information on our Hot Talent Newsletter survey.
Because we want our Newsletter to help you help us help you.
Make sense?
It will take no more than 7 minutes and, best of all, we're ready to bribe you by offering prizes.
We're rewarding a few lucky random survey takers with 3 Adobe Flash CS3 Professional Digital Classroom DVDs (valued at $49 each) and 3 O'Reilly Media Dynamic Learning Flash CS3 Professional Books (valued at $45 each).
Just click here to go right to the survey and thanks in advance!
Next week, there will be no pitch.
Aside from our usual one.
But how can you resist great Aquent Talent and their profiles, samples, and resumes?
Enjoy!
__________________________________________________
FEATURED TALENT THIS WEEK
Justin H. - Graphic Design | Art Direction
Elliott L. - Senior Web & Print Designer
Laura R. - Front-End Developer
Aris B. - Graphic Designer
Anne T. - Senior Project Manager
Scarlett J. - Project Manager
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Justin H.
Graphic Design | Art Direction
Most recently at Sargent & Berman, Trailer Park, and Art Machine, Justin comes to us with an extensive book and impressive client roster that includes ABC, Verizon, Visa, Gillette, Johnnie Walker, Pepsi, AOL, JetBlue Airways, and Deutsche Bank.
Leading a design team in the successful relaunch of an American Express direct mail campaign, Amex was so impressed by the immediate response rates that they retained Justin to work on many other campaigns.
His well-rounded portfolio includes magazine spreads, advertorials, direct mail, logos and identity, marketing collateral, corporate communications, as well as email design, Web banners, and mini sites.
He's able to work well one-on-one with an Art /Creative Director, a team of Designers, or on his own. He's well able to create from concept to completion or bring another's unfinished design to fabulous fruition.
His staff and freelance positions include Digitas, Rapp Collins Worldwide, BBDO, Broad Street, and Woo Agency.
Looking to send your next print campaign into a terrific launch?
Call us about Justin!
See his on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
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Elliott L.
Senior Web & Print Designer
Elliot wins the prize for working with more Aquent offices around the globe than any other Talent we know!
A highly skilled hands-on Web & Print Designer with amazing ActionScripting skills (he nabbed a perfect score on our assessment in record time!), he has experience on both the agency and client side. He's designed and built full sites, landing pages, mini-sites, banners, email campaigns and online flash quizzes and other interactive media, can hand code in HTML, CSS, and JavaScript, and is proficient in InDesign, Photoshop, and Quark.
His impressive client list includes Commonwealth Bank, Mazda, Electrolux, Cirque de Soleil, Fox Movies, Allergen, Toshiba, and Colossal Clothing (an American Apparel company).
As with all hot Web Designers, call us about him today, because we can't guarantee he'll be available tomorrow!
See his on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance
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Laura R.
Front-End Developer
With over eleven (!) years of Web experience, Laura cut her teeth at Citysearch, creating over 100 clean, functional sites for countless clients.
Most recently she's been the main Developer/Designer for Snap.com, an Idealab company that offers search engine with "snap shot" previews to links and freelanced for clients all around the LA area.
She's helped revitalize the Evite invitation design gallery and redesigned the site itself - twice, created and maintained the interdepartmental Photo Library at Citysearch, and built the extensive Greater Minneapolis City and Visitors Association Web site.
Strong in Photoshop, HTML, CSS, Flash, Fireworks, Illustrator, Visio, and friendly in JavaScript...
We think, in fact, you're going to find her very friendly all around!
See her on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
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Aris B.
Graphic Designer
As a Designer with marvelous skills, Aris can whip up any design that your heart desires!
Most recently at the Disney Store, he designed seasonal mailers, catalogs, window displays, and graphics for incredibly detailed in-store displays. At printing company UNIQ MCD he produced tradeshow booths, magazine ads, annual reports, newsletters, and collateral for clients such as Starbucks, ID Magazine, and House of Blues.
He did an amazing job on our InDesign assessment (and ACED our Photoshop one!), can adapt to any work environment, and is available now!
See his on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
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Anne T.
Senior Project Manager
Most recently at Yahoo!, Anne teamed up with the Creative Director to build a new internal team from scratch, creating all the internal systems (including budgeting and finance), sourcing and developing contracts for new vendors, and building solid relationships with high-profile internal Yahoo! clients.
In one short year she managed 100+ projects including multi-phased interactive campaigns for Yahoo! Sports, motion graphics packages of on-line shows, and the microsite for the new Yahoo! Search.
As Producer at Apple Computer's Marketing Communications Group, she worked on Web banners, site relaunches, print collateral, and the company's must-have retail products. She was a key component in the iLife site relaunch, where she worked with the Web and motion graphics departments, as well as outside vendors to get the project complete in just 6 weeks.
With her 9 years of hands-on marketing experience and knack for building rapport with both internal and external partners, we know her great background and wonderful attitude will win you (and your team) over!
See her on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
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Scarlett J.
Project Manager
Armed with excellent traffic, coordination, and project management skills honed by 6 years of experience, there's not a disorganized creative department around that can keep Scarlett down.
At Buena Vista Home Entertainment as a freelance Project Supervisor, she oversaw and managed all print and packaging budgets and delivery schedules, worked as liaison with internal film marketing groups, and developed and fulfilled all in-store and on-line promotional campaign rollouts for all sell-thru titles.
At DreamWorks Records Scarlett routed all artwork and handled their copy revisions, collected and prepared files for color separations, processed invoices, researched promotional items, and created and maintained databases for photo shoots, samples, and portfolios.
She's a great fit for entertainment, consumer products, or any creative department who craves exceptional organization!
See her on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent

I spent about 10 minutes trying to figure out how they did all this only with flashlights.
A 4-minute clip from Japan sent to me by my friend Paul of something called PIKA PIKA.
Don't know who Bremen is, the artist for the accompanying song, but it sounds a heck of a lot like Madonna's Ray of Light.
A half hour later he sent me this video explanation of how it's done.
(My apologies for the continuing 80's references)
THIS WEEK'S POSITIONS:
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POSITION: Bilingual Print Project Coordinator (Mandarin & English)
TERMS: Long-Term Freelance (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Traffic Coordinator
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Web Analyst
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Brand Planner
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
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LOCATION:
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POSITION: On-Line Traffic Coordinator
TERMS: Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
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POSITION: Email Campaign Manager
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
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LOCATION:
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POSITION: Project Manager
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
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POSITION: Creative Director (Broadcast)
TERMS: Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
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POSITION: Web Production
TERMS: Six-Month Freelance (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Sr. Information Architect
TERMS: Freelance (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
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POSITION: HTML Coder
TERMS: Freelance (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Creative Project Manager
TERMS: Freelance (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
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POSITION: Sr. Project Manger / Web Producer
TERMS: Freelance (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
PERKS!:
LOCATION:
Nicole sent out a message two weeks ago that today would be 80's Friday, and yes, people took it seriously.
Luckily everyone is celebrating the 80's their own way (pls. check out Andy's vinyl Quiet Riot offering below).
Just a general question: Of all the women in the office, who do you think has Bette Davis Eyes?
And if you think we've been hearing Joan Jett, The Police, and (sigh) Dead or Alive all day, you are correct.


IN THIS ISSUE:
Hot Talent
Featured Talent This Week
That Bit at the End - "Eat This Memo"
Subscribe | Unsubscribe Information
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HOT TALENT
Survey says...!
This week we're hoping you'll help us make the Hot Talent Newsletter work harder for you by participating in our confidential on-line survey.
It should take no more than 7 minutes of your time and, best of all, we're ready to bribe you by offering prizes!
We're rewarding a few lucky random survey takers with 3 Adobe Flash CS3 Professional Digital Classroom DVDs (valued at $49 each) and 3 O'Reilly Media Dynamic Learning Flash CS3 Professional Books (valued at $45 each).
(Sorry, HQ said a Smart Car ForTwo giveaway was out of the question.)
Just click here to go right to the survey and thanks in advance!
Then don't forget to come back to see THIS week's amazing Aquent Talent along with their profiles, samples, and resumes!
Enjoy!
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FEATURED TALENT THIS WEEK
Amie S. - Senior Art Director
Luis R. - Art Director
Michelle F. - Creative Director
Steve S. - Production Artist
Andrea H. - Traffic Coordinator
JP M. - Presentations Specialist
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Amie S.
Senior Art Director
Amie is valued by clients as much for her conceptual design solutions as for her strategic problem solving.
A truly hands-on Art Director, her beautiful portfolio includes packaging, branding, and marketing work for companies such as Intel, Mars-Masterfoods, Sony, Mattel, and Proctor & Gamble.
Thriving in a collaborative team environment, as well as working autonomously, she can take any project from concept to completion with a skillset that includes photo direction, presentations, and project management.
Amie is perfect for any company looking for smart solutions to their creative challenges!
Be sure to see her on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
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Luis R.
Art Director
Armed with over 10 years of creative experience (and a Masters from Pratt), Luis' extensive background includes art direction and design in print, Web and editorial.
Most recently at People Magazine, Luis worked with the marketing department to develop People Live, the magazine's multi-sponsor signature mega event, crafting all the collateral pieces including ads, mini-magazine, and recap.
As Art Director at Real Simple Magazine and Realsimple.com, he managed a 3-person staff, creating a unique look and brand identity for the multi-pronged, multi-sponsor, three-month-long fundraising event, Get Organized New York (GONY). For the project, he designed and developed all collateral material including public-relations packages, Web site pop-ups, Web site architecture, bus and outdoor signage, invitations, auction catalogue, sell sheets, sales presentations, as well as directed all photo shoots for the campaign and development of the 100-page recap book.
Luis' staff positions include Health Magazine, Time Inc., Sports Illustrated, and Women's Health Magazine
A bona fide hands-on Art Director, he's ready, willing, and able to tackle projects in InDesign, Illustrator, Photoshop, Image Ready, and Quark.
But let his on-line profile and PDF samples speak for themselves!
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
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Michelle F.
Creative Director
As an accomplished Creative Director, Michelle has nearly fifteen years of experience in the graphic design industry, with the past ten years focused on home entertainment.
As Creative Director, Michelle executed marketing campaigns specific to each film release including the development of theatrical key art, trailer production, DVD wraps, screener artwork, copywriting, sales promotions, point-of-purchase displays, consumer and retail advertising.
Michelle's incredibly organized and has an exceptional eye for detail and is a master at providing excellence in high-pressure situations with short turnaround times.
When you need it done right the first time, call us about Michelle!
See her on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
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Steve S.
Production Artist
Steve is a Production Artist with MAD Photoshop skills, proving it to us by coming in and acing our rigorous assessment!
Able to handle prepress checks, press schedules, pre-flighting, deadline management, expert photo manipulation, and much more, his recent clients include Paramount Studios and LACMA. Working at a fast-paced, multi-million dollar printing shop, he worked as both Production Artist and Lead Prepress Operator, creating and maintaining schedules on 6 different printing presses and handling production needs with lightning speed.
His staff experience includes Graphic Designer for global law firm Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher and eco-cleaner Simple Green and Revision Web Designer for Ticketmaster/CitySearch.com.
An incredible (and fast!) team player with InDesign skills to boot, don't snooze on Steve, because we know he's going to be busy soon!
See his on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
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Andrea H.
Traffic Coordinator
As sole traffic person at a full-service advertising and design agency in Miami, Andrea was both Traffic and Operations Manager. As such she was responsible for overseeing all projects, working as liaison between all departments, and managing the trafficking process from planning through completion.
Fully versed on the print production process from working with printers and going on press checks, she's also expert at managing vendor relations, and contracting freelance Designers, Copywriters, and Photographers when needed.
And she's bilingual in English and Spanish to boot!
However you say it, "muy bueno" or "very terrific", we know you'll love her!
See her on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
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JP M.
Presentations Specialist
A jam-packed background creating, editing, and proofreading charts, graphs, tables, animations and more in PowerPoint, Word, and Excel, J.P. is a professional presentations powerhouse.
Working with clients and leading teams of 8, he's created, project managed, and implemented tons of high-profile presentations for the likes of Bank of America, JP Morgan Chase, and Amgen.
Whether you already have eye-catching graphs and charts or an incoherent mass of Post-It notes, if you want your presentation to go off with a bang, call us about J.P.!
See his on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.
Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
To: The Entire Company
From: Your CEO
Subject: The Berkeley Team
As you've probably already heard, the team from Berkeley will be here next month. As these folks are the new owners of our company, we should make them feel as welcome as possible when they come to evaluate our teams and redefine our company's goals and direction.
That being said, they have asked me to let all of you know in advance about some of the changes that will be implemented before they come. This will be (mostly) to avoid any shock that might otherwise detract from the important work we all have ahead of us.
This is the first of three memos.
As of tomorrow the entire office will be going Organic.
This is not a joke, people, so I hope you'll listen up and follow these new procedures closely.
Tomorrow morning everything in the kitchen that is not Organic will be tossed out. Do not try to rush back there and slap an "Organic" label on your Ding Dongs, Ring Dings, or what have you. We did not just learn about Organic Foods yesterday and our subcommittee will be looking closely at the ingredients. If they are not Organic, they are history.
All banana peels, eggshells, coffee grinds, etc. will no longer be allowed into our trashcans. Instead, they will need to go down to the compost pile where they will be turned into something called "humus". (Not to be confused with the garlicky Middle Eastern dip "hummus".) This will be used as mulch in the new company garden.
The compost pile will be located in what used be known as the Smokers' Lounge.
The Smokers' Lounge can now be found in "Any Area Off Company Property".
If you eat or drink something from a recyclable container, then for heaven's sake, recycle it when you are through. Appropriate bins for recyclable plastics of all different kinds (#1 through #7) can now be found around the office, as will receptacles for aluminum cans, plastic bottles, Ni-Cad batteries, windowed envelopes, rubber tires, and dental floss. If you are eating something wrapped in 500-years-to-biodegrade plastic, then eat it Off Property.
Should you be one of those recycling bin "scroungers", don't even think about it. The monies raised from recycling will be supporting the "Meat Is Murder" campaign currently running in rural Nebraska and Iowa, a cause very near and dear to our new company owners' hearts.
If you have any article of clothing made of fur or leather, or any part of what was once a living animal, leave it at home.
Ditto on anything black. Black is no longer a clothing option at this company. If you are working in the Art Department, I suggest you do some shopping at Gourd & Taylor, The Co-op Hut, Hemptastic!, or wherever within the next couple of weeks.
All paper loaded in the laser printers will be made from 115% post-consumer recycled stock. This paper is a fairly dark shade of gray, so you might want to think about your choice of font colors going forward.
When the new team arrives, please keep all talk regarding sports, fashion and (especially) reality TV to a minimum. Some of these people are highly sensitive in nature and may become aggravated should you reference one of these topics while they are also in line for the Soy Yogurt Machine or Raw Food Bar.
Our former parking lot will be made into a Farm Collective this month; the artisanal cheese-making contingent from rural Tibet will arriving shortly thereafter. Until that time, the pygmy yaks will be located in our COO's office along with the hens, banty rooster, and Angora goat.
On a sad note, our COO will no longer be with us as of delivery of this memo. (This may also be a sobering note for many of you in upper management. If members of the Berkeley team takes you out to dinner, do not order the Steak Tartare and speak at length about your shady overseas investments.)
I hope you will follow all these protocols outlined above, as the new team will expect all procedures to be in place upon their arrival.
I appreciate your help in fulfilling all of these to the letter and look forward to writing my next memo:
What Happened to My Parking Space? Why Public Transportation is the Best Transportation

Or, rather, you get what you think you paid for.
Interesting study in marketing: a cheap (10 cent) pill doesn't kill pain as well as an expensive ($2.50) pill, even when they both are the same placebos.
Crazy, huh?
Dan Ariely, a behavioral economist at Duke University, published his findings in a letter in the March 5th edition of Journal of the American Medical Association (full text is $15 or read the Science Daily article here or listen to it on NPR's Morning Edition here).
Has the world of online ratings spread too far?
I can understand why someone would want to post and read reviews on Target's 11' King Canopy 1-Touch Patio Umbrella or Black Xhilaration Newsboy Hat, but not so much the cop who just gave out a ticket for jaywalking, public drunkenness, or failing to yield.
Which is just what the site RateMyCop.com proposes you do.
Just pull up the department who issued the ticket (LAPD for instance), the name of the officer who issued it to you, and then rate him/her on "Authority", "Fairness", and "Satisfaction" witnessed during the transaction.
After which you can also see what others are saying about said officer.
The site says their mission "is to compile information on cops’ performance and to provide a forum where users can freely share individual accounts", which is fairly honorable.