Tim Donnelly: April 2007 Archives

The Aquent ASAP Job List
"Have Gum, Will Travel"

Interested in a position?

PLEASE E-MAIL THE AGENT:

• A recent resume which reflects all the must haves
• A brief summary of how your experience matches the MUST HAVES
• Any samples, if requested

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THIS WEEK'S POSITIONS:

1. Web Content Coordinator
2. Web and Print Designer
3. Print Project Manager
4. Web Designer
5. Advertising Coordinator
6. Jr. On-Line Manager
7. Creative Services Brand Manager
8. Brand Manager
9. Field Marketing Manager

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POSITION: Web Content Coordinator

TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 2 to 5 years of experience using Web content management systems (preferably Tridion)
• Familiarity with Web, software, and technical requirements including Web color and file standards
• Written proficiency in German, Italian, or French preferred
• College degree

PERKS!:

• Growing creative team
• Growing high-end travel company

LOCATION:

• Woodland Hills

CONTACT AGENT

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

POSITION:

TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 2 to 5 years of experience using Web content management systems (preferably Tridion)
• Familiarity with Web, software, and technical requirements including Web color and file standard
• Written proficiency in German, Italian, or French preferred
• College degree

PERKS!:

• Growing creative team
• Growing high-end travel company

LOCATION:

• Woodland Hills

CONTACT AGENT

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

POSITION: Web and Print Designer

TERMS: Permanent (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 2+ years of Web and print experience
• Position is 80% print and 20% Web

PERKS!:

• Great work environment at a stable company

LOCATION:

• Burbank

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Print Project Manager

TERMS: Permanent (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 2 to 5 years of experience in ad agency, design firm, or corporate creative department
• Experience managing the development of collateral, POP, displays, and packaging
• Extensive work with vendors and internal and external teams

PERKS!:

• Room for growth (position open due to promotion)

LOCATION:

• Long Beach

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Web Designer

TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 3 to 5 years of experience working on professional sites
• "Passion for Fashion"
• Strong illustration skills
• HTML hand coding skills a plus

PERKS!:

• Great working environment
• Cutting edge technology and equipment
• Fun Web site

LOCATION:

• Downtown

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Advertising Coordinator

TERMS: Permanent (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 1 to 2 years of advertising or marketing experience
• Deadline oriented
• Excellent hands-on skills in Microsoft Office
• Salary is $40K

PERKS!:

• A foot in the door in an advertising environment
• Opportunity to concept ads

LOCATION:

• North Hollywood

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Jr. On-Line Manager

TERMS: Permanent (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• SEO, SEM, and on-line affiliate marketing experience
• Hands-on skills with Web analytics tools
• 3 to 5 years of experience
• Salary is $75K + 10% bonus

PERKS!:

• Internet company with a strong Web presence

LOCATION:

• Westside

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Creative Services Brand Manager

TERMS: Three-Month Freelance (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 8 to 10 years of professional experience
• Client-facing background
• Project management experience
• Design approval and print production knowledge

PERKS!:

• Company has outstanding brand recognition in their industry

LOCATION:

• Downtown

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Brand Manager

TERMS: Permanent (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 5+ years of brand management or product marketing experience with a CPG company
• Experience within international markets
• MBA
• Salary is $90K

PERKS!:

• Global brand recognition
• Ability to have impact at every point of the launch process

LOCATION:

• LAX area

CONTACT AGENT

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

POSITION: Field Marketing Manager

TERMS: Permanent (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 2 to 3 years of field marketing experience
• Experience managing events
• Background in PR strategy for retail, merchandise, and promotions
• Team management experience

PERKS!:

• Great music entertainment company
• Work with bands and labels on events

LOCATION:

• Santa Monica

CONTACT AGENT

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS INTERESTED AND QUALIFIED:

Point your friend right to this link and have them drop your name to the Agent.

INTERESTED IN OTHER AQUENT POSITIONS?

Go here, my friend, then select Job Openings

* MyAquent users, use your UserName & Password to express interest in jobs. Everybody else, the registration is easy!

The JOB CENTER will track which jobs you've applied for and the current status.

Legitimate Package Rip Off or Market Share Hogging?

YOU DECIDE!

A small organic plant food company, TerraCycle, is being sued by Scotts Miracle-Grow who claims the upstart's packaging too closely resembles its Miracle-Grow product line and that it is making false advertising claims.

Scotts owns roughly 59% market share, according to AdAge, and TerraCycle believes that the suit is based on their move into big name stores like Home Depot, Target, and the like, where Miracle-Grow is king.

Scotts says it's more about TerraCycle's unsubstantiated claims for "superior performance" and that TerraCycle's packaging is "confusingly similar" to Miracle-Grow's.

Did I fail to mention that TerraCycle's product is made from worm poop and distributed in recycled bottles?

Sorry.

I'd also be remiss if I didn't tell you that TerraCycle has turned the suit into a marketing opportunity. They've launched the site SuedbyScotts.com which parodies the difference in the companies in a very David and Goliath fashion. They also are careful to point out 81 different brands of lawn and garden products with yellow and green labels just like TerraCycle and Miracle-Grow.

Worm poop.

Who knew?

To: Adriana Doherty, CEO
From: Jerome Tanaka

RE: Our Department Manager

Over the last several years, before Paul Graham was transferred to our group, I heard from coworkers in other departments saying how difficult to work with him. Statements such as, "He's a real nightmare" and "You're better off talking to a wall" were frequently heard in the hallways.

Shortly after Paul was brought in to manage our team, I realized not only were all the rumors true, but that he was even a worse manager than I could have imagined.

We soon discovered Paul was at work earlier than everyone else and stayed well after everyone went home. In fact, he never left his office. You can imagine what this did for our floor's morale. Since becoming our manager, my department busted their butts coming in early and staying late to match his workaholic personality.

But to no avail.

No matter how early anyone showed up, Paul was always here first. And still here when they left at 11pm.

We found Paul to be incredibly uncommunicative to the point of belligerence and refused to attend any meeting to which he's been invited. E-mails to him went unanswered. The Inbox on his desk was always overflowing. He never, ever cracked a smile, even out of social kindness.

The slave driver didn't even leave his office during a fire drill.

This is not why I am writing to you, however.

I wanted to inform you of the curious turn of events that unfolded in my yearly review.

During our meeting, when Paul failed to acknowledge my comments about his miserable management style, I reached over and tapped him angrily on his chest.

He then toppled over backwards and one of his hands broke off.

At this point I discovered Paul Graham was, in fact, a store mannequin.

Which came as quite a surprise.

I must compliment you as a CEO for your ingenuity in creating a relentless work ethic in our company simply by shifting Paul from department to department.

Which is why I am sure you will equally appreciate the way I sent him packing.

Literally.

Several weeks ago I dressed Paul in a Giorgio Armani suit and then put him and a nice rollaway suitcase by a freeway entrance holding a sign in his hands that said "Florida".

I've taken care to load Paul down with postcards, a cheapie digital camera, and a company e-mail list. I've also packed along instructions to anyone who gives him a ride to place him in the most compromising position they can and send the pictures our way.

We've already received ones of him drinking at a string of dive bars in downtown Los Angeles, jumping off the balcony into a pool in Fort Lauderdale, and in some very unflattering situations while visiting someplace called the Chicken Ranch in La Grange, TX.

We'll be keeping these items for safekeeping while awaiting his return later this summer. Which is about the time you'll begin receiving e-mails and memos from Paul concerning raises, bonuses, and an extended vacation policy for our department.

I imagine you'll find it easier to approve all these than explain to your Board of Directors why our intranet has pictures of your handpicked VP stripped to the waist and holding a keg tap on a Mardi Gras float.

Expect excellent reviews of Paul's performance during our Upward Feedback process later this fall.

We've decided he is the one manager we want to keep forever.

And from the information I've gathered about the M/1 E Series mannequin, it looks like we can!

Thank you in advance for all your continued support.

Sincerely,

Charlie McCarthy and the whole crew

Thought I'd let you know about this Aquent sponsored happening as it's next week! Please use the RSVP address on the invite below if you want to have your book reviewed.

Even if you don't want your book reviewed, feel free to come by (just email me that you're coming!)

 

H  O  T     T  A  L  E  N  T
The Newsletter of Aquent's Available Talent

A  P  R  I  L   |   2  5   |   2  0  0  7
__________________________________________________

IN THIS ISSUE:

Hot Talent

Featured Talent This Week

That Bit at the End - "I Can See Your Lips Moving"

Subscribe | Unsubscribe Information
__________________________________________________

HOT TALENT

If you've been desperately trying to find top creative and marketing Talent since Pluto was a planet, we can help!

Our job is simple: make your life easier.

If you'd rather work on the To Dos that increase your bottom line than trawl through thousands of resumes online or on your desk, just give us a call.

Our Agents and Account Managers can help you find the perfect freelance or permanent staff member for your team, so you can get back to doing what you do best.

Which is hopefully not astronomy.

Just follow the links for profiles, samples, and resumes.

Enjoy!
__________________________________________________

FEATURED TALENT THIS WEEK

William W. - Front End Web Developer
Joyce S. - User Experience Manager | Technical Writer
Joe D. - Editor, Proofreader, Writer
Tracy S. - Marketing | Promotion Director
__________________________________________________

William W.
Front End Web Developer

Habla Espanol?

Maybe not, but William speaks GUI, HTML, XHTML, XML, XSL, CSS, VSS, Microsoft .NET and a myriad of other markup languages and platforms that you might find handy when trying to talk to your customers.

Over 7 years of professional Web development, he's built sites for such diverse clients as General Motors, Shopzilla, Toyota, Park Place Entertainment, Reebok, eMap Publishing, Dell, Paris Las Vegas, There.com, and most recently Denver Broncos and Einstein Bagels.

And when it comes to your customers, don't you want to be heard loud and clear?

Thought so!

Click her to see his on-line profile.

Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent

Skills: Macromedia Flash, Macromedia HomeSite, Macromedia Dreamweaver, Adobe Photoshop, Microsoft FrontPage PageSpinner, Apache, Adobe PageMill, Adobe Illustrator, Microsoft Windows, BBEdit, HTML, Microsoft Windows NT, DOS, Microsoft Word, FileMaker, WordPerfect, Microsoft Project, Microsoft Access, UNIX, LINUX
__________________________________________________

Joyce S.
User Experience Manager | Technical Writer

Joyce has an exceptional experience in technical publications, writing, user experience, and data analytics from the world's leading software company.

At Microsoft Corporation since '95, she was most recently developing metadata for next generation search technology and prototyping next-generation wizards. Managing a team of Information Architects as User Experience Manager she was responsible for the overall assistance experience in Windows Vista as well as the functionality around finding and surfacing assistance content.

As Technical Publications Manager at Dun & Bradstreet's software group, Erisco, Joyce managed the technical writing and production staff, overhauling its publishing tools and processes to improve efficiency and lower costs. She also managed vendors and partnered with other D&B subsidiaries to develop corporate-wide user interface and documentation standards.

She's a multitalented Aquent Talent available for only the next 3 months!

Click here for her on-line Aquent profile.

Desired Work: Freelance
__________________________________________________

Joe D.
Editor, Proofreader, Writer

With over 10 years of exacting proofreading and editing experience, Joe literally took our proofreading assessment to the cleaners.

Okay, figuratively.

Most recently freelancing for the Member & Marketing Communications Department at Kaiser Permanente, he was responsible for updating and revising company editorial guidelines and reviewing and editing copy on brochures, flyers, and letters before presenting to the clients and account staff. At GTS Companies Joe drafted and edited sets of specifications for all elements of numerous McGraw-Hill and Addison Wesley textbooks, proofread galleys and pages (for both letter-for-letter proofreads as well as edit checks), trained freelancers, and helped clients determine best solutions when mission-critical issues arose.

His ongoing freelance work includes Web copy (with SEO), case studies, and articles for sites such as Sunset, SkyWest, Written By, Brown Alumni Magazine, and Games.

He's the perfect fit for any client in dire need of mind-boggling accuracy!

Click here to see his on-line Aquent profile.

Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
__________________________________________________

Tracy S.
Marketing | Promotion Director

Over 25 years of experience in marketing, entertainment, and event production, promotion, advertising, and PR, if you need global visibility, then you need Tracy!

Tracy has been responsible for the creation and development of new departments for top ad agencies and has produced countless promotional media events, not to mention over 400 concerts and special events a year ranging in size from clubs to stadiums.

Her sterling client roster includes Activision, Motorola, Snapple, Bank One, Saks Fifth Avenue, Dunkin' Donuts, MCI, The Seagram Beverage Company, and Mitsubishi and her resume boasts staff positions at City of Hope, Ignited Minds, Deutsch Inc., and Allure Magazine.

And she's available right now!!

Click here to see her on-line Aquent profile.

Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
__________________________________________________

THAT BIT AT THE END
"I Can See Your Lips Moving"

To: Adriana Doherty, CEO
From: Jerome Tanaka

RE: Our Department Manager

Over the last several years, before Paul Graham was transferred to our group, I heard from coworkers in other departments saying how difficult to work with him. Statements such as, "He's a real nightmare" and "You're better off talking to a wall" were frequently heard in the hallways.

Shortly after Paul was brought in to manage our team, I realized not only were all the rumors true, but that he was even a worse manager than I could have imagined.

We soon discovered Paul was at work earlier than everyone else and stayed well after everyone went home. In fact, he never left his office. You can imagine what this did for our floor's morale. Since becoming our manager, my department busted their butts coming in early and staying late to match his workaholic personality.

But to no avail.

No matter how early anyone showed up, Paul was always here first. And still here when they left at 11pm.

We found Paul to be incredibly uncommunicative to the point of belligerence and refused to attend any meeting to which he's been invited. E-mails to him went unanswered. The Inbox on his desk was always overflowing. He never, ever cracked a smile, even out of social kindness.

The slave driver didn't even leave his office during a fire drill.

This is not why I am writing to you, however.

I wanted to inform you of the curious turn of events that unfolded in my yearly review.

During our meeting, when Paul failed to acknowledge my comments about his miserable management style, I reached over and tapped him angrily on his chest.

He then toppled over backwards and one of his hands broke off.

At this point I discovered Paul Graham was, in fact, a store mannequin.

Which came as quite a surprise.

I must compliment you as a CEO for your ingenuity in creating a relentless work ethic in our company simply by shifting Paul from department to department.

Which is why I am sure you will equally appreciate the way I sent him packing.

Literally.

Several weeks ago I dressed Paul in a Giorgio Armani suit and then put him and a nice rollaway suitcase by a freeway entrance holding a sign in his hands that said "Florida".

I've taken care to load Paul down with postcards, a cheapie digital camera, and a company e-mail list. I've also packed along instructions to anyone who gives him a ride to place him in the most compromising position they can and send the pictures our way.

We've already received ones of him drinking at a string of dive bars in downtown Los Angeles, jumping off the balcony into a pool in Fort Lauderdale, and in some very unflattering situations while visiting someplace called the Chicken Ranch in La Grange, TX.

We'll be keeping these items for safekeeping while awaiting his return later this summer. Which is about the time you'll begin receiving e-mails and memos from Paul concerning raises, bonuses, and an extended vacation policy for our department.

I imagine you'll find it easier to approve all these than explain to your Board of Directors why our intranet has pictures of your handpicked VP stripped to the waist and holding a keg tap on a Mardi Gras float.

Expect excellent reviews of Paul's performance during our Upward Feedback process later this fall.

We've decided he is the one manager we want to keep forever.

And from the information I've gathered about the M/1 E Series mannequin, it looks like we can!

Thank you in advance for all your continued support.

Sincerely,

Charlie McCarthy and the whole crew
__________________________________________________

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Also, please feel free to reply to give us updates on your contact information.

And of course, we'd love to hear your feedback!
__________________________________________________

Tim Donnelly
Propagandist | Blogger | Stuff Coordinator

A Q U E N T
6100 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 500, Los Angeles, CA  90048
Phone: 323 634 7000 | Fax: 323 954 8517
tdonnelly@aquent.com

We represent more than 400,000 marketing and creative professionals around the globe.
Visit aquent.com to learn more.

In the wake of Earth Day, I've been catching up with some recent articles, blogs, and podcasts on the subjects of climate change, carbon footprints, conservation, and the like.

I just got done listening to Chris Goodall, author of How to Live a Low-Carbon Life: The Individuals Guide to Stopping Climate Change and Bill McKibben, author of Deep Economy: The Wealth of Communities and the Durable Future and heard some interesting facts.

One, though we Americans aren't talking about tightening our belts when it comes to stopping climate change (gasoline use was recently up 5%, even with the high prices), that's what the Europeans are concentrating on: conservation. The odd thing? A European uses half the energy the average American does, according to McKibben.

When asked what was the most important thing you could do to reduce your carbon footprint, the answers were:

1. Making sure your house in properly insulated
2. Turning down the thermostat in the winter
3. Not traveling by airplane
   

Yes, that last one came as a surprise to me. Goodall's reasoning can be found here on his site.

Goodall and especially McKibben stressed while you should act locally, if you really care about doing something about climate change, you're going to have to make sure you are heard by our government. Apparently the lobbyists are trying hard to convince them there's nothing to worry about.

While you're working on your carbon emission reduction, be sure to check out the rebates offered by LA County utility companies here.

Even though we're heard a lot of talk about ethanol being a silver bullet for all our oil-bred woes (reliance on unstable countries for oil, rampant pollution), atmospheric chemist Mark Jacobson at Stanford University has been more than a little suspicious, knowing that air quality got worse during Brazil's big ethanol push in the 1970s.

Turns out he should be.

According to his recent report (downloadable): "Switching to E85 blends (85% ethanol, 15% gasoline) could result in slightly higher ozone-related mortality, hospitalization, and asthma (9% higher in Los Angeles and 4% higher in the U.S. as a whole), the study finds. Cancer rates would be similar for gasoline and E85."

Maybe we should slow down a bit before rushing into the Brave New World, huh?

(More of the topic is discussed in this Environmental Science and Technology article.)

And please don't think that guy driving around in her/his biodiesel Mercedes is saving the world, either. When Jacobson was on NPR's Science Friday he cited studies showing that all diesel vehicles are much dirtier than gasoline powered ones. Even the ones burning veggie oil.

No, I didn't mean to depress you so soon after Earth Day.

Would it help if I let you know that Jacobson's recommendation for alternately powering vehicles was by batteries charged via wind/solar energy?

Or that the best way to double your gas mileage is to carpool?

I leave you with this happy, green, and easy-to-do item:

If every US home replaced just one light bulb with a compact fluorescent one, "we would save enough energy to light more than 2.5 million homes for a year and prevent greenhouse gases equivalent to the emissions of nearly 800,000 cars."  (source EnergyStar)

Better?

The Aquent ASAP Job List
"Now Printed with Soy Ink"

Interested in a position?

PLEASE E-MAIL THE AGENT:

• A recent resume which reflects all the must haves
• A brief summary of how your experience matches the MUST HAVES
• Any samples, if requested

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THIS WEEK'S POSITIONS:

1. Brand Manager
2. Copywriter
3. Copywriter/Pitch Writer
4. Creative Agent (Aquent)
5. Marketing Coordinator
6. Sr. Designer
7. Traffic Manager
8. Web  Designer
9. Web Analyst
10. Webmaster with ASP.NET
    

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POSITION: Brand Manager

TERMS: Permanent (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 5 to 7 years of classical CPG experience
• Previous experience with launching product lines, market positioning, and global brand strategy
• MBA
• Interest in skin care
• Willingness to work on a small hands-on team

PERKS!:

• Global brand name
• Ability to have impact at every point of the launch process
  

LOCATION:

• Century City
  

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Copywriter

TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent  (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 5+ years direct mail / newsletter / brochure experience
• Great attention to detail and ability to proof
• Strong interest or experience in travel category (international a plus)
• Ability to work with a team in a corporate environment

PERKS!:

• Growing creative team with potential for managerial role
• Solid benefits, travel potential
  

LOCATION:

• Woodland Hills
  

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Copywriter/Pitch Writer

TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent or Permanent  (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• Interest or experience in automotive
• Prior experience developing strategies, creative concepts, and persuasive presentations
• Previous writing/positioning/marketing at an ad agency, PR firm, marketing company, or in-house department within the auto industry

PERKS!:

• Great manager, solid team
• Client is a market leader
• International exposure
  

LOCATION:

• Westside
  

CONTACT AGENT

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

POSITION: Creative Agent (Aquent)

TERMS: Permanent  (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• Recruiting or coordination experience in a staffing agency
• Exposure to working with creative services and marketing departments and serving a customer base consisting of Fortune 1000 companies and mid-sized businesses
• Incredible attention to detail, great documentation skills, and computer and Internet expertise

PERKS!:

• Working with the most fun team on the planet
  

LOCATION:

• Right here at Aquent!
  

CONTACT AGENT

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

POSITION: Marketing Coordinator

TERMS: Freelance (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• General marketing background
• 2+ years of experience
• This is a marketing support function

PERKS!:

• Great opportunity to get great experience at a CPG company
  

LOCATION:

• Hawthorne
  

CONTACT AGENT

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

POSITION: Sr. Designer

TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent or Permanent (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• Interest or experience in automotive
• Ability to work well with typography and a design style that lends itself to business proposals
• Excellent hands-on skills in Photoshop and Illustrator

PERKS!:

• Creating pitches for the international automotive market
  
• Great manager and solid team
• Client is a market leader
  

LOCATION:

• Westside
  

CONTACT AGENT

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

POSITION: Traffic Manager

TERMS: Long-Term Freelance  (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 2+ years as a Traffic Manager
• Adept at instituting new workflow processes
• Pay is $30 to $35 an hour, depending on years of experience

PERKS!:

• Autonomy as a Traffic Manager
• Great team

LOCATION:

• Whittier
  

CONTACT AGENT

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

POSITION: Web Designer

TERMS: Long-Term Freelance (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 3 to 5 years of professional Web design experience on large corporate sites
• Toy or youth-oriented background (client currently uses a bold color palette and very illustrative design concepts)
• Proficiency in Photoshop, Dreamweaver, HTML, and CSS
• Pay is $35 to $40 an hour

PERKS!:

• Site has a fun, creative design
• Client is a leader in their industry
  

LOCATION:

• Downtown
  

CONTACT AGENT

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

POSITION: Web Analyst

TERMS: Long-Term Freelance  (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 2 to 3 years of previous Web analytics experience
• Background analyzing data and click behavior patterns
• Experience with NaturalSearch and SEM initiatives and with Web analytics tools such as HitBox, Coremetrics, WebTrends, or Omniture
• Advanced proficiency in Excel
• Pay is $25 to $35 an hour

PERKS!:

• Working in the consumer projects division of a large studio
  

LOCATION:

• Burbank
  

CONTACT AGENT

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

POSITION: Webmaster with ASP.NET

TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent  (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• ASP .NET, Windows 2000, and MS SQL Server 2000
• Previously designed or supported an e-commerce (B2C) site
• High-level knowledge of HTML, JavaScript, SQL, Dreamweaver, and Visual Studio.net
• Seasoned in Search Engine Optimization

PERKS!:

• A leader in software development
• Great company & benefits
  

LOCATION:

• Harbor City
  

CONTACT AGENT

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS INTERESTED AND QUALIFIED:

Point your friend right to this link and have them drop your name to the Agent.

INTERESTED IN OTHER AQUENT POSITIONS?

Go here, my friend, then select Job Openings

* MyAquent users, use your UserName & Password to express interest in jobs. Everybody else, he registration is easy!

The JOB CENTER will track which jobs you've applied for and the current status.

"This is the worst day of my life!"

It's so sad when friends take a beating at your own birthday party.

(Thanks to Emily for helping make milk come out of my nose.)

We're glad that you and your doctor have chosen Zotov to help you lower your blood pressure and improve your lifestyle.

Zotov, plus a controlled diet and a regular exercise program have been shown to be an important part of controlling high blood pressure.

This drug works best when taken before meals (three times a day) and should be swallowed with water.

The benefits of Zotov are great, but we'd like to share with you some possible side effects before you begin your course of this very remarkable drug.

Ingesting 500mg of Zotov on a daily basis for a period of over 60 days may produce the following side effects:

• Dry mouth
• Redness around cornea
• Blotchy skin
• Nervous tics and/or facial spasms
• Tremors
• Uncontrollable shouting of expletives
• Dizziness
• Itchy feet
• Whimpering
• Flatulence
• Heart palpitations
• Euphoria
• Feelings of omnipotence (i.e., impenetrable to bullets)
• Uncontrolled spending
• Stuttering
• Distaste for foods starting with the letter "C"
• Barking
• Puffy eyes and/or swollen tongue
• Unexpected tax levies
• Attraction to velour clothing
• Bad Feng Shui
• Narcolepsy
• Horrifying auditory hallucinations
• Forgetfulness
• Loss of coordination

In some cases patients using Zotov have experienced the following:

• Enlargement of Adam's apple
• Unexplained attendance at Renaissance fairs
• Bloating
• Separation of left and right brain hemispheres
• Unnecessary candor
• Emission of sparks while speaking
• Rickets
• Agoraphobia
• A longing for "that good old-timey music"
• Magnetism
• Increased gasoline prices
• Giddiness
• Luminosity at high altitudes
• Molting
• Loss of interest in TiVo
• Carbon build up around the throttle plate
• Protohuman hominid behavior
• Scheming
• Assumptions that you are Don Rickles
• Shingles
• Blogging
• Spontaneous combustion
• Strong personal stances on woodchucks
• Pica (i.e., eating chalk, dirt)
• Carpal Tunnel
• Shape Shifting
• Sporadic ordering of "Market Price" menu items
• Tinnitus
• Global warming

You may also experience slightly higher cholesterol levels.

We hope you find your experience with Zotov to be an extremely positive one.

Store this medication at room temperature away from sunlight. Keep out of the reach of children and do not give your medication to anyone, even out of revenge.

H  O  T     T  A  L  E  N  T
The Newsletter of Aquent's Available Talent

A  P  R  I  L   |   1  8   |   2  0  0  7
__________________________________________________

IN THIS ISSUE:

Hot Talent

Featured Talent This Week

That Bit at the End - "Prescription for Fun"

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HOT TALENT

Faster than a cab in gridlock traffic. 

More powerful than one of those little locomotives at Griffith Park. 

Able to leap up and come down again without breaking anything.

It's Aquent's Hot Talent Newsletter!

All the Talent that's fit for Print. And Web. And Marketing.

This week we're presenting four Super Aquent Talent guaranteed to bring justice and order to your office without leaving a wake of broken desks, rogue fires, or dead villains in your hallways.

If you've been looking for star Creative and Marketing Talent who can handle the stress of a busy department without turning green and tearing up the place, you just found them!

Turn on your X-ray vision and follow the links for profiles, samples, and resumes.

Enjoy!
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FEATURED TALENT THIS WEEK

Larry L. - Art Director | Sr. Designer
Kristine B. - Traffic Manager
Carolyn C. - Marketing Manager | Coordinator
Jonathan M. - Presentations | Executive Assistant
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Larry L.
Art Director | Sr. Designer

Larry's passion is working on projects where he can do everything, soup to nuts. That translates into concepting, hiring, setup, directing, designing, conferring with clients, attending press checks, and yes, gorgeous final pieces.

And he loves to exceed clients' expectations.

His extensive logo work and annual reports are beautiful, and he's been awarded for his work on collateral for clients like Amgen, SunAmerica, Caesars World, New Line Cinema, Litton Industries, and Aames Financial Corporation.

Once labeled "the nicest man on the planet" (by our Agents), it's refreshing someone so personable could be a one-man powerhouse!

Click here to see his on-line Aquent profile

Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent

Skills: Adobe Illustrator, QuarkXPress, Adobe Photoshop
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Kristine B.
Traffic Manager

A consummate traffic pro with experience in all aspects of production from print to broadcast, Kristine's the person you need to keep projects moving on track and right on schedule.

Over 13 years of trafficking experience, she's used her extensive knowledge of print, video/audio formats, and production to ensure delivery for important projects for TBWA\CHIAT\DAY, Rubin Postaer and Associates, Kaufman & Broad, Mercury Media, and more.

Capable of handling a multitude of fast-paced, critical deadline situations, she's well able to overcome daily derailments...

And get the project back on the right track!

Click here to see her on-line Aquent profile

Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent

Professional Categories: Office Management, Other Print Design and Production, Traffic Management
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Carolyn C.
Marketing Manager | Coordinator

A Marketing Manager with extensive financial and entertainment background, Carolyn is the perfect fit for a marketing team in need of a rising star.

Most recently at financial services company Envision Direct, her marketing plans, branding strategies, and advertising campaigns helped generate more than $20 million in new assets for the company with a marketing budget of less than $60K. As Manager of Market Research Studies at entertainment research company ASIe, her market research findings and focus groups help shape the development of properties for Warner Bros., FX, Food Network, Disney, and MTV.

Carolyn's background includes designing and writing copy for marketing and promo materials; vendor negotiation; staff management; promoting, planning, and organizing national events; and so much more.

You're going to love her!

Click here to see her on-line Aquent profile

Desired Work: Freelance-to-Permanent & Permanent

Skills: Professional Categories: Account Management, Marketing Coordinator, Marketing Management, Print Project Management
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Jonathan M.
Presentations | Executive Assistant

Jack-of-all-Trader, Master-of-Many.

Most recently as Disney working in their Creative Services and Copywriting departments, Jonathan has great hands-on skills in PowerPoint, Word, Excel, and Photoshop; has experience in After Effects and Final Cut Pro; is a top Assistant who thrives under pressure; and is fluent in Spanish, English, PC, and Mac.

Along with his work for Disney, he's been Executive Assistant at VOY Pictures, award-winning digital production studio Mac Guff, and producer for Ellen and Home Improvement Maxine Lapiduss.

You may call him an overachiever.

But isn't that what you were looking for?

Click here to see his on-line Aquent profile

Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent

Skills: Adobe Acrobat, Adobe Photoshop, HTML, Macromedia Dreamweaver, Microsoft Excel, Microsoft Office, Microsoft PowerPoint, Microsoft Word, Outlook Express, Real Video
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THAT BIT AT THE END
"Prescription for Fun"

We're glad that you and your doctor have chosen Zotov to help you lower your blood pressure and improve your lifestyle.

Zotov, plus a controlled diet and a regular exercise program have been shown to be an important part of controlling high blood pressure.

This drug works best when taken before meals (three times a day) and should be swallowed with water.

The benefits of Zotov are great, but we'd like to share with you some possible side effects before you begin your course of this very remarkable drug.

Ingesting 500mg of Zotov on a daily basis for a period of over 60 days may produce the following side effects:

• Dry mouth
• Redness around cornea
• Blotchy skin
• Nervous tics and/or facial spasms
• Tremors
• Uncontrollable shouting of expletives
• Dizziness
• Itchy feet
• Whimpering
• Flatulence
• Heart palpitations
• Euphoria
• Feelings of omnipotence (i.e., impenetrable to bullets)
• Uncontrolled spending
• Stuttering
• Distaste for foods starting with the letter "C"
• Barking
• Puffy eyes and/or swollen tongue
• Unexpected tax levies
• Attraction to velour clothing
• Bad Feng Shui
• Narcolepsy
• Horrifying auditory hallucinations
• Forgetfulness
• Loss of coordination

In some cases patients using Zotov have experienced the following:

• Enlargement of Adam's apple
• Unexplained attendance at Renaissance fairs
• Bloating
• Separation of left and right brain hemispheres
• Unnecessary candor
• Emission of sparks while speaking
• Rickets
• Agoraphobia
• A longing for "that good old-timey music"
• Magnetism
• Increased gasoline prices
• Giddiness
• Luminosity at high altitudes
• Molting
• Loss of interest in TiVo
• Carbon build up around the throttle plate
• Protohuman hominid behavior
• Scheming
• Assumptions that you are Don Rickles
• Shingles
• Blogging
• Spontaneous combustion
• Strong personal stances on woodchucks
• Pica (i.e., eating chalk, dirt)
• Carpal Tunnel
• Shape Shifting
• Sporadic ordering of "Market Price" menu items
• Tinnitus
• Global warming

You may also experience slightly higher cholesterol levels.

We hope you find your experience with Zotov to be an extremely positive one.

Store this medication at room temperature away from sunlight. Keep out of the reach of children and do not give your medication to anyone, even out of revenge.
__________________________________________________

SUBSCRIBE | UNSUBSCRIBE INFO

If you don't want to receive any more of these newsletters, please reply with the word "remove" in the subject line. 

Also, please feel free to reply to give us updates on your contact information.

And of course, we'd love to hear your feedback!

__________________________________________________

Tim Donnelly
Propagandist | Blogger | Stuff Coordinator

A Q U E N T
6100 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 500, Los Angeles, CA  90048
Phone: 323 634 7000 | Fax: 323 954 8517
tdonnelly@aquent.com

We represent more than 400,000 marketing and creative professionals around the globe.
Visit aquent.com to learn more.

Our friends down at LA Flash are hosting two "nanocamps" this Saturday (4/21) on CSS for those in the Web world.

The first is Adobe User Group Manager Chris Charlton's encore presentation to to his popular "Intro to CSS". Immediately following that will be a second-level "Advanced CSS" workshop.

You can get in for the incredibly low, low price of $79 for each workshop with the code 'LAFLASH'.

It's cheaper than filling up your Hummer and much, much less expensive than summer camps for kids. Believe me.

Here's the full skinny:

Date: April 21st
Instructor: Chris Charlton
Location: Rich Media Institute - 525 Venezia Avenue, Venice, California 90291

Hit the links below to jump to the class page.

Intro to CSS, 9a-1p
Students will be shown the pretty faces of CSS. We will cover the What, Why, and How of CSS - theory, code, and practice.

Advanced CSS, 2p-6p
Students will take CSS up from controlling styling to controlling layout. Web Usability and Accessibility
tips will also appear throughout the course. Workflow and production techniques are fully covered, and students walk away with a more detailed orientation of how CSS is used for every day web design.

And if you haven't signed up for the free Aquent/AMA Webcast on Creative Briefs ("Successful Creative Briefs: Linking Business Objectives and Creative Strategies") be sure to go here and sign up!

You may have heard it more times than you've wanted, but the expression "Make the logo bigger" has never been so rockin':

Make the Logo Bigger by Burn Back

(Those folks at Speak Up just find the greatest things....)

From NY Times.

I guess this is how you can tell that you have a good post.

Comments?

(thanks to the folks at Speak Up!)

The Aquent ASAP Job List
"Thank God It's Thursday"

Interested in a position?

PLEASE E-MAIL THE AGENT:

• A recent resume which reflects all the must haves
• A brief summary of how your experience matches the MUST HAVES
• Any samples, if requested

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THIS WEEK'S POSITIONS:

1. Jr. Designer
2. Flash Developer
3. Traffic Coordinator
4. Associate Brand/Product Manager
5. Account Executive (Agency)
6. Sr. Web/Print Designer
7. Toy Designer
8. E-commerce Designer

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POSITION: Jr. Designer

TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• Background in health or beauty products
• 2 years of professional experience
• Strong hands-on skills in Illustrator, Photoshop, and InDesign

PERKS!:

• Move your career from production with a little design to design with a little production!

LOCATION:

• Mid-Wilshire

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Flash Developer

TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent  (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• Expert knowledge of Flash 8 and ActionScript 2.0
• Strong Object Oriented Programming
• Knowledge of Flex and Flash Remoting

PERKS!:

• Work with a great, knowledgeable team on large, highly-trafficked sites
  

LOCATION:

• Westside
  

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Traffic Coordinator

TERMS: Long-Term Freelance  (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 2 to 3 years of experience trafficking print projects within an agency or corporate environment
• Experience with project management software
• On-site 40 hours a week
• Pay is $25 an hour

PERKS!:

• Growing marketing and creative team
• Opportunity to learn and advance in a long-term freelance job
  

LOCATION:

• Glendale
  

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Associate Brand/Product Manager

TERMS: Permanent  (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• Experience targeting medical community and consumer market
• MBA and CPG experience required
• Nutrition product experience preferred
  

PERKS!:

• Work with a great CPG company
  

LOCATION:

• Glendale
  

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Account Executive (Agency)

TERMS: Three-Month Freelance  (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 2+ years of agency experience
• Client-facing experience
• Commitment to a three-month freelance job

PERKS!:

• Really hip, creative environment with friendly team
• Agency handles wide range of advertising (print, broadcast, etc.)

LOCATION:

• Culver City
  

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Sr. Web/Print Designer

TERMS: Permanent  (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• Solid print skills from creating ads and text driven/catalog-style layouts
• Strong hands-on InDesign skills (style sheets and text boxes)
• Light HTML and Flash banner skills
• Agency background preferred
• Knowledge of project and asset management
  

PERKS!:

• Working for a Fortune 500 company
• Very nice creative team
  

LOCATION:

• Burbank
  

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Toy Designer

TERMS: Freelance  (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• Exceptional illustration and Illustrator skills
• Ability to render and draft concepts and presentations
• Drawings, sketches of comic book characters, action figures, toy cars, etc.
• Must be able to direct creation of 3D models
• Pay is $30 hour

PERKS!:

• Opportunity to work on a new cartoon property for a well-known toy company
  

LOCATION:

• South Bay
  

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: E-commerce Designer

TERMS: Long-Term Freelance  (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• Hands on skills in HTML and CSS
• 3 to 4 years of experience designing for database driven or e-commerce sites

PERKS!:

• Casual environment and a highly trafficked Web site
• Great location in Old Town Pasadena
  

LOCATION:

• Pasadena
  

CONTACT AGENT

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IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS INTERESTED AND QUALIFIED:

Point your friend right to this link and have them drop your name to the Agent.

INTERESTED IN OTHER AQUENT POSITIONS?

Go here, my friend, then select Job Openings

* MyAquent users, use your UserName & Password to express interest in jobs. Everybody else, he registration is easy!

The JOB CENTER will track which jobs you've applied for and the current status.

Or Creative Briefs, if you will.

Aquent, along with the American Marketing Association, is sponsoring a free Web seminar on using creative briefs to link business objectives and creative strategies.

Leading the talk will be Emily Cohen, a Creative Consultant for over 20 years who currently serves on the board of advisors for InSource and developed and launched the Certificate of Graphic Design program from NYU's School of Continuing and Professional Studies.

Here's the skinny:
Alongside practical advice on how creative briefs should be used to streamline your development process, Emily will provide concrete tips, tools, and techniques to ensure that your organization is not only creating great briefs, but also getting the most out of them. Most importantly, she’ll help you use creative briefs to tighten the link between goals, strategies, and tactics.

The  webcast will be of value to anyone involved in the creative development process: (1) corporate and brand marketers (e.g. marketing communications, branding, advertising, product design, website development, naming, etc.), and (2) in-house or external creative services organizations (advertising agencies, design studios, freelance writers/designers, etc.).

The meeting is set for Thursday, May 17th at 10AM for those of us here on the West Coast.

Did I mention it's free????

And only an hour.

Talk about briefs.

H  O  T     T  A  L  E  N  T
The Newsletter of Aquent's Available Talent

A  P  R  I  L   |   1  1   |   2  0  0  7
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IN THIS ISSUE:

Hot Talent

Featured Talent This Week

That Bit at the End - "Low Prices Born Here, Cleaned Elsewhere"

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__________________________________________________

HOT TALENT

Is it illegal for adults to throw toy paratroopers from their 5th floor balcony to see how far they'll go before they land? Or just ill advised?

We've been asking ourselves that very same thing.

If anybody reading this is an attorney, please contact us before 5pm today (which is when Operation Teensy Weensy Paratrooper is set to deploy).

If you are not an attorney, then perhaps you'd like to find out more about our top creative and marketing Talent in the newsletter that follows.

No strings attached (but you knew that was coming, right?)

Follow the links for profiles, samples, and resumes.

Geronimo!
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FEATURED TALENT THIS WEEK

Julie S. - Senior Designer
Paul G. - Flash Animator
Ken C. - Director of Marketing with SEO
Lucie K. - Account Executive
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Julie S.
Senior Designer

An awesome Sr. Designer with terrific hands-on and conceptualization skills, Julie has a great range of design in her really beautiful work.

You might expect as much when you see her resume, which includes education at Art Center, RISD, and Syracuse University in both NY and Florence, Italy.

Her love of branding and identity shines through her advertising, signage, annual reports, packaging, and promotional work for firms like Gunn | Jerkens, The Larson Group, Jensen Design, and E.E. Robbins.

Looking to add some freelance or permanent sparkle to your design team?

Call us about Julie!

See her on-line Aquent profile!

Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent

Skills: Adobe Photoshop, Advertising/Account Management, HTML, Lotus Freelance Graphics
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Paul G.
Flash Animator

A terrific Flash Animator with wireless and on-line advertising experience, Paul created animations, ringtones, and wallpapers for THQ's wireless division for over 2 years, helping generate over $5 million in revenue for the company!

Most recently at ValuClick, he was creating a host of Flash ads, Web banners, HTML e-mails, and templated sites for high traffic sites like MySpace.com and targeted customer e-mails.

His portfolio is chock full of work for the likes of Nickelodeon and AOL and brands such as Sponge Bob, Star Wars, Hot Wheels, and many more.

If you need Flash, Paul's got it in spades!

See his on-line Aquent profile!

Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent

Skills: Adobe Illustrator, Adobe ImageReady, Adobe PageMaker, Adobe Premiere, Alias|Wavefront Maya, HTML, Macromedia Dreamweaver, Microsoft Excel, Microsoft Word, Sound Designer, WordPerfect
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Ken C.
Director of Marketing with SEO

A senior level, results-oriented marketing exec proven to significantly increase company revenue in the technology, eCommerce, and consumer product industries, Ken has more than 12 years of experience creating successful traditional and search engine/on-line marketing programs.

Most recently at global printer manufacturer Zebra Technologies, he increased sales leads 20% year over year by optimizing and creating new paid search programs through Google, Yahoo, and other search engines. In both their Americas Marketing and Global Product Marketing & Corporate Communications groups he created marketing strategies, reorganized staff responsibilities, and established metrics analysis reporting to transform sales challenges into massive sales successes.

Prior to Zebra, Ken led marketing efforts for both Brandshatch Marketing Group and US Search.com, where he was responsible for brand messaging, communications, strategy, and Customer Relationship Management.

Ken loves the on-line and technology industries but is ready, willing, and open for the next great opportunity!

See his on-line Aquent profile!

Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
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Lucie K.
Account Executive

Lucie is an advertising and marketing pro with extensive account-side experience at Rubin Postaer working with such clients as American Century Investments, Wellpoint Blue Cross Blue Shield, and UniCare.

Handling the coordination of print and television advertising for both accounts, she was responsible for writing creative briefs, direct client contact, managing TV rotation, budget tracking, TV trafficking, and cross-functional coordination with the RPA creative and media teams.

Able to thrive under pressure and juggle multiple projects and clients seamlessly, we know you're going to love Lucie!

See her on-line Aquent profile!

Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent
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THAT BIT AT THE END
"Low Prices Born Here, Cleaned Elsewhere"

It's MIDTERM and TAX time again, that stressful season that brings out the worst in many of us.

If the anxiety associated with these large tasks drives you into exaggerated, highly distressing, and persistent thoughts, compulsions, or repetitive, ritualistic, and unproductive behaviors, make sure to stop by your local UNWELL WALLY'S discount superstore, because we're your...

98 CENTS OR LESS OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE HEADQUARTERS!

Whether you're looking for enough aluminum foil to cover your windows (2 for 98 cents) or just need something to help check out that suspicious new neighbor (Mr. Peepie's Spy Telescopes are just 98 cents each), don't even THINK of blockading yourself in your home without visiting UNWELL WALLY'S first!

Unlike those large Club stores, the friendly and thrifty UNWELL WALLY'S staff can help find everything you need to help you cope when the going gets anxious.

Germs got you down? We've got row upon row of disinfectants, cleansers, mops, brooms, and everything else you can use to really get your house absolutely immaculate before you tackle those heinous long-form documents.

Compulsive hand washer? We've got you covered with our wide assortment of mild liquid hand soaps, available in both scented and unscented varieties. So easy on the hands, you may even decide to soak in it!

Only a store with our massive volume buying power is able to bring you the exceptional Fone Call Recorder at just 98 cents!!! Was that an alien disguised as a telephone solicitor? Record every word the caller is saying by simply writing it down on this handy lined yellow pad! Is your phone tapped? Write down the number of clicks you hear every time you call, then tally them up at the end of the day! Over 100 sheets per Fone Call Recorder pad!

Will the library track you down for that book you checked out six years ago? Has your mother been kidnapped by CIA operatives? Seems like these subjects ALWAYS come up when you're trying to find receipts or deciphering the notes you took in Geology 101. The answer's just a phone call away with our inexpensive ready-to-charge phone cards at a ridiculously low 77 cents each!

Light switches wear out fast when you turn them on and off repeatedly, so replace them quickly and safely with our 3 for 98 cents LiteSafe brand switches and 98 cent screwdriver set. Just remember to turn the fuse off first!

Never ask yourself again whether or not you left the oven on with our 2 for 98 cents pliers. Ideal for taking knobs off stoves and removing on/off switches from coffee pots, irons, and much, much more!

And speaking of more, check out these other UNWELL WALLY'S bargains!

* Collecting newspapers? We've got miles and miles of string to help keep those stacks from toppling over on you!

* Take a break from ritualistic counting with our handy autoMiniCalc calculators (1 for 98 cents each)!

* Do yourself a good "turn"! All doorknobs are just 3 for 88 cents, so pick up an entire case! Perfect for ritualistic knob turners and anyone who doesn't like the feel of dirty doorknobs!

* Nothing says fanatical perfectionism like giant rubber erasers, and we've got 'em by the truckload, 20 for just 98 cents!

You'd be CRAZY to pass up bargains like these!!!

But hurry down, because at prices like these, everything will be flying out the door!

(Not literally, all objects will remain on shelves during sale.)

Got O.C.D.?

Get to UNWELL WALLY'S ASAP!!

And don't forget us after TAX and MIDTERM season are finally over, because we're also your...

98 CENTS OR LESS MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER HEADQUARTERS!

__________________________________________________

SUBSCRIBE | UNSUBSCRIBE INFO

If you don't want to receive any more of these newsletters, please reply with the word "remove" in the subject line. 

Also, please feel free to reply to give us updates on your contact information.

And of course, we'd love to hear your feedback!

__________________________________________________

Tim Donnelly
Propagandist | Blogger | Stuff Coordinator

A Q U E N T
6100 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 500, Los Angeles, CA  90048
Phone: 323 634 7000 | Fax: 323 954 8517
tdonnelly@aquent.com

We represent more than 400,000 marketing and creative professionals around the globe.
Visit aquent.com to learn more.

It's MIDTERM and TAX time again, that stressful season that brings out the worst in many of us.

If the anxiety associated with these large tasks drives you into exaggerated, highly distressing, and persistent thoughts, compulsions, or repetitive, ritualistic, and unproductive behaviors, make sure to stop by your local UNWELL WALLY'S discount superstore, because we're your...

98 CENTS OR LESS OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE HEADQUARTERS!

Whether you're looking for enough aluminum foil to cover your windows (2 for 98 cents) or just need something to help check out that suspicious new neighbor (Mr. Peepie's Spy Telescopes are just 98 cents each), don't even THINK of blockading yourself in your home without visiting UNWELL WALLY'S first!

Unlike those large Club stores, the friendly and thrifty UNWELL WALLY'S staff can help find everything you need to help you cope when the going gets anxious.

Germs got you down? We've got row upon row of disinfectants, cleansers, mops, brooms, and everything else you can use to really get your house absolutely immaculate before you tackle those heinous long-form documents.

Compulsive hand washer? We've got you covered with our wide assortment of mild liquid hand soaps, available in both scented and unscented varieties. So easy on the hands, you may even decide to soak in it!

Only a store with our massive volume buying power is able to bring you the exceptional Fone Call Recorder at just 98 cents!!! Was that an alien disguised as a telephone solicitor? Record every word the caller is saying by simply writing it down on this handy lined yellow pad! Is your phone tapped? Write down the number of clicks you hear every time you call, then tally them up at the end of the day! Over 100 sheets per Fone Call Recorder pad!

Will the library track you down for that book you checked out six years ago? Has your mother been kidnapped by CIA operatives? Seems like these subjects ALWAYS come up when you're trying to find receipts or deciphering the notes you took in Geology 101. The answer's just a phone call away with our inexpensive ready-to-charge phone cards at a ridiculously low 77 cents each!

Light switches wear out fast when you turn them on and off repeatedly, so replace them quickly and safely with our 3 for 98 cents LiteSafe brand switches and 98 cent screwdriver set. Just remember to turn the fuse off first!

Never ask yourself again whether or not you left the oven on with our 2 for 98 cents pliers. Ideal for taking knobs off stoves and removing on/off switches from coffee pots, irons, and much, much more!

And speaking of more, check out these other UNWELL WALLY'S bargains!

* Collecting newspapers? We've got miles and miles of string to help keep those stacks from toppling over on you!

* Take a break from ritualistic counting with our handy autoMiniCalc calculators (1 for 98 cents each)!

* Do yourself a good "turn"! All doorknobs are just 3 for 88 cents, so pick up an entire case! Perfect for ritualistic knob turners and anyone who doesn't like the feel of dirty doorknobs!

* Nothing says fanatical perfectionism like giant rubber erasers, and we've got 'em by the truckload, 20 for just 98 cents!

You'd be CRAZY to pass up bargains like these!!!

But hurry down, because at prices like these, everything will be flying out the door!

(Not literally, all objects will remain on shelves during sale.)

Got O.C.D.?

Get to UNWELL WALLY'S ASAP!!

And don't forget us after TAX and MIDTERM season are finally over, because we're also your...

98 CENTS OR LESS MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER HEADQUARTERS!

In case you haven't been following along (and I don't blame you, if you haven't) Aquent acquired the  American Graphics Institute in February changing its name to Aquent Graphics Institute. Or AGI, for short.

If you're not familiar, AGI handles training, consulting, and support services for all Adobe software applications including Photoshop, InDesign, Dreamweaver, Flash, Illustrator and Acrobat.

We don't have the training centers out on the West Coast yet, but (better) they're rolling out 9, count 'em 9, books on the Adobe CS3 software offerings as soon as the software has been released.

These will all be published by O'Reilly and are available for pre-order at Amazon.

I guess this is a perk with working closely with Adobe, wouldn't you say?

The Aquent ASAP Job List
"That's the Beer that Made Milt Famey Walk Us"

Interested in a position?

PLEASE E-MAIL THE AGENT:

• A recent resume which reflects all the must haves
• A brief summary of how your experience matches the MUST HAVES
• Any samples, if requested

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THIS WEEK'S POSITIONS:

1. Interactive Art Director
2. Web Content Producer
3. Jr. to Mid-Level Technical Writer
4. Packaging Designer (Bilingual Spanish)
5. Marketing Coordinator
6. Marketing Manager
7. Marketing Associate

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POSITION: Interactive Art Director

TERMS: Permanent (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• Hands-on Web design experience
• Knowledge of Flash
• Previous experience in branding and site development
• Background in health, beauty, food, fashion, travel, or online publishing preferred
  

PERKS!:

• Amazing Manager who values autonomy
• Position is a crucial part of branding team
• Stable company

LOCATION:

• Beverly Hills

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Web Content Producer

TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent or Permanent (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 2 to 5 years of experience with Web content, editing and/or site production
• Experience crafting daily editorial content for the Web and working with editorial staff
• Extensive understanding of editorial standards
• Knowledge of HTML

PERKS!:

• Working with Writers, Editors, and Creative Director to manage the content of a great lifestyle site

LOCATION:

• Beverly Hills
  

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Jr. to Mid-Level Technical Writer

TERMS: 3-Month Freelance  (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• 3+ years of technical writing experience
• Proficient with PC and Microsoft Office applications
• This job is on-site, full time for 3 months
• Position pays between $25 and $30 an hour

PERKS!:

• Writing for a groundbreaking healthcare information system
  

LOCATION:

• Pasadena
  

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Packaging Designer (Bilingual Spanish)

TERMS: Long-Term Freelance (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• Packaging design experience required
• Excellent skills in InDesign, Photoshop and Illustrator
• Bilingual Spanish and English

PERKS!:

• Great creative design team
• Ability to work directly with clients

LOCATION:

• Glendale
  

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Marketing Coordinator

TERMS: Permanent (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• Knowledge of print process
• Experience interfacing with creative teams and agencies
• Ability to manage multiple projects simultaneously
• Excellent organizational skills and facilitating cross-team communications

PERKS!:

• Great global CPG company with a household name
  

LOCATION:

• Glendale
  

CONTACT AGENT

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POSITION: Marketing Manager

TERMS: Freelance (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• Experience developing marketing campaigns
• Must have product management and tradeshow marketing background
• Nutritional CPG background preferred
• Position is on-site at product factory

PERKS!:

• A hands-on position in charge of company's marketing 
  

LOCATION:

• Hawthorne
  

CONTACT AGENT

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

POSITION: Marketing Associate

TERMS: Freelance (On-Site)

MUST HAVES!:

• General marketing background
• 2+ years of experience
• Experience in a marketing support function

PERKS!:

• Great opportunity to get extensive marketing experience at a CPG company

LOCATION:

• Hawthorne
  

CONTACT AGENT

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS INTERESTED AND QUALIFIED:

Point your friend right to this link and have them drop your name to the Agent.

INTERESTED IN OTHER AQUENT POSITIONS?

Go here, my friend, then select Job Openings

* MyAquent users, use your UserName & Password to express interest in jobs. Everybody else, he registration is easy!

The JOB CENTER will track which jobs you've applied for and the current status.

You know, Seinfeld has spun off more inventions and catch phrases than any other TV show in TV show history. Consider these gems which now appear in our everyday 21st century lives:

• Double-dipping ("It's like putting your entire mouth in the bowl!")
• Muffin tops
• Puffy Shirts (didn't quite catch on)
• "No soup for YOU!"
• "Kie-bosh" (instead of "Kabosh")
• Close Talker
• Manzier
• Shrinkage
• Man hands
• Yadda, yadda, yadda

On the muffin top front comes this invention, which was surely inspired by the same thinking, that is: "Dang it, I love the brownies on the edge of the pan and hate the ones in the middle."

If you love TWO (yes two) chewy edges on each brownie then, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the...

EDGE BROWNIE PAN

Mom always said not to get close to the edge.

But the edge was never quite so delicious.

Details at the BakersEdge site (sadly on backorder until May)

H  O  T     T  A  L  E  N  T
The Newsletter of Aquent's Available Talent

A  P  R  I  L   |   0  5   |   2  0  0  7
__________________________________________________

IN THIS ISSUE:

Hot Talent

Featured Talent This Week

That Bit at the End - "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow"

Subscribe | Unsubscribe Information

__________________________________________________

HOT TALENT

If June 21st is the longest day of the year, then what do you call the day before taxes are due?

That can be a fairly long day, wouldn't you say?

On the calendar December 21st is allegedly the briefest day, but ask any kid and he/she will tell you the shortest day is the last day of summer vacation.

Before you get back to your baffling date book, we invite you to look at this straightforward e-mail, chock full of amazing Aquent Talent, funny bits, and a friendly phone number at the end.

It could be the least confusing thing on your calendar today.

Follow the links for profiles, samples, and resumes.

Enjoy!
__________________________________________________

FEATURED TALENT THIS WEEK

Jeff M. - Information Architect
David S. - Web Producer | Project Manager
Bert H. - Flash Developer
Kimberly S. - Senior Project Manager
__________________________________________________

Jeff M.
Information Architect

Jeff's an Information Architect with both an automotive and agency background as well as 5+ years of stellar Web design experience.

Most recently on the Mazda account for Proxicom, he collaborated with IAs, Project Managers, usability groups, and Business Analysts to design wireframes, organize content, and create remarkable user-centered sites that surpass the expectations of both clients and users. His tenure included the Lead IA role on dynamic sites for Toyota Motorsports and Cazadores Tequila.

Jeff has extensive experience designing Web pages in XHTML and CSS and is incredibly hands-on when it comes to using wireframing tools such as Visio, InDesign, and Axure.

Best of all, he's available right now!

See his on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.

Desired Work: Freelance and Permanent
__________________________________________________

David S.
Web Producer | Project Manager

A highly-seasoned Senior Web Producer and Project Manager, David was one of the three pioneering Producers at interactive Web consultancy iXL, generating creative briefs and strategy for site launches for the likes of Merrill Lynch, Virgin Records, NPR, Kenneth Cole, and other prominent clientele.

Since 2001, he's been producing Web sites and banner and e-mail campaigns for high-profile national brands and CPG companies such as Kraft, Masterfoods, Suave, and Sony BMG.

David can handle everything from concept to stunning execution and is the perfect fit for any company who needs a killer Web presence!

See his on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.

Desired Work: Freelance and Permanent
__________________________________________________

Bert H.
Flash Developer

An ActionScriptor/Flash/Web Developer who ACED our very tough ActionScripting assessment, Bert's what you might call a Flash Guru.

If you use those sort of terms.

Also skilled in animation, HTML, XML, CSS, C, C++, and JavaScript, he's freelanced at Warner Bros. Online, TBWA\Chiat\Day, New Line Cinema, Backward Heroes, and DNA Studio on sites for Harry Potter, Smallville, Budweiser, Best Buy, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Poseidon; rich media banners for Sony Playstation and PSP; and even the mini-game for the Neopets site.

He's an Aquent Talent so well-versed that he was a full-time lecturer at USC teaching Flash, 3D Studio Max, and Premiere.

So if you have a site or banner in dire need of schooling, you know who to call!

See his on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.

Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent

Skills: Macromedia Flash, Real Video, Adobe Photoshop, Macromedia Dreamweaver, Adobe Illustrator, XML, Macromedia Director, Adobe Premiere, Alias|Wavefront Maya, Lingo, Adobe Acrobat, Lotus Freelance Graphics, Management, HTML, Adobe After Effects, JavaScript
__________________________________________________

Kimberly S.
Senior Project Manager

Hiiiii-YA!

If you're looking for a Sr. Project Manager with PMP and Six Sigma Black Belt certification, stop right here!

Okay, you might want to read a bit further.

Just wrapping up a successful long-term contract at biotech giant Amgen, Kim developed and managed the execution of incredibly complex meeting and tradeshow programs, marketing-sponsored stand-alone projects, and other initiatives for the corporate accounts and oncology team.

As Client Services Director at Medsn, she managed up to 15 projects at any time with budgets up to $700K while successfully maintaining and increasing the client base by designing and implementing strategic customer retention projects.

With her 7+ years of progressive management and marketing expertise in account management, legal and regulatory compliance, and financial management, with Kim on your side, projects go from simply good to great!

Kim is available in mid-April.

See her on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.

Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent

Professional Categories: Print Project Management, Web Project Management
IT Project Management, Corporate Communications, Product Management

__________________________________________________

THAT BIT AT THE END
"For He's A Jolly Good Fellow"

To: all@levinsonco.com
From: Frank Frankerson

Subject: My Departure

Hello all,

It is with great regret that I announce the continuation of my employment here at Levinson & Company.

Though work here is thankless and grueling on most days, I have come to the conclusion that it would be much more challenging if I left.

For starters, what would I do to make money?

That was my wife's first question.

And a darn good one, too.

In fact, the more I considered it, the more I agreed with her that if I left the company I would no longer receive checks.

A quick call to Simon in Payroll confirmed that fact.

And just in time.

I would like to thank the many of you who suggested that it would be easier around here without me.

A good idea, but as with many good notions, it looked better on paper.

Though I am, in fact, not fond of my current position as Sub-Junior Supplier here at the company, it appears it will have to do for now. Which looks like tolerating a few more years of being passed up for promotions and the long three-flight walk down to my office in the basement.

Until I win the lottery, of course.

Just joking.

If I did win the lottery I'd still come in for a couple months and pretend to work and mouth off and until they fired me. Why not? I could probably still get good severance pay.

Until that day, though, you'll be seeing me right here on Level 3C, right between the broom closet and the boiler.

While I have your ear, though, I would like to thank those of you who have made a difference in my work here at Levinson & Company.

I'd like to express gratitude to John for his jokes and his good-natured ribbing while I was under his desk trying to retrieve my mechanical pencil. It really brightened up my week to hear someone laughing that hard. Ditto to Celia D. who brought my misrouted mail down to me. A month later. Thanks also to Carlos for telling me that shirt tag was out. While I have the chance I'd like to thank the good people at Lea & Perrins for their delicious Worcestershire sauce.

I won't go into saying how much I will miss those staff brown bag lunch meetings or the Monday morning "gab fests" around the coffee machine as I was going to do in my "Farewell, Suckers!" e-mail, as now I will be here for them.

Guess I'll just save that e-mail for a later date.

I did also want to ask each of you to replace the items taken from my desk during the last week and a half while the rumors of my resignation were floating around. These items are: tape dispenser, Babe Ruth coffee mug, picture of my wife and children, my Levinson & Company 10th anniversary bobble head doll, a dying phalaenopsis orchid (and planter), and the pellet gun I kept in my drawer to fend off rats.

I will be at lunch today from noon to 1pm, so you can return said pilfered items with relative anonymity.

Guess that's all for now.

It's been great working with you all these years, and I look forward to keeping in touch with many of you, as my e-mail account and phone extension will be exactly the same as last week.

Don't forget about me just because I'm in the basement.

See you all.

Frank

Whoever left this "pink slip" on my desk yesterday, forget about it.

I'm staying.
__________________________________________________

SUBSCRIBE | UNSUBSCRIBE INFO

If you don't want to receive any more of these newsletters, please reply with the word "remove" in the subject line.

Also, please feel free to reply to give us updates on your contact information.

And of course, we'd love to hear your feedback!

__________________________________________________

Tim Donnelly
Propagandist | Blogger | Stuff Coordinator

A Q U E N T
6100 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 500, Los Angeles, CA  90048
Phone: 323 634 7000 | Fax: 323 954 8517
tdonnelly@aquent.com

We represent more than 400,000 marketing and creative professionals around the globe.
Visit aquent.com to learn more.

H  O  T     T  A  L  E  N  T
The Newsletter of Aquent's Available Talent

A  P  R  I  L   |   0  5   |   2  0  0  7
__________________________________________________

IN THIS ISSUE:

Hot Talent

Featured Talent This Week

That Bit at the End - "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow"

Subscribe | Unsubscribe Information

__________________________________________________

HOT TALENT

If June 21st is the longest day of the year, then what do you call the day before taxes are due?

That can be a fairly long day, wouldn't you say?

On the calendar December 21st is allegedly the briefest day, but ask any kid and he/she will tell you the shortest day is the last day of summer vacation.

Before you get back to your baffling date book, we invite you to look at this straightforward e-mail, chock full of amazing Aquent Talent, funny bits, and a friendly phone number at the end.

It could be the least confusing thing on your calendar today.

Follow the links for profiles, samples, and resumes.

Enjoy!
__________________________________________________

FEATURED TALENT THIS WEEK

Jeff M. - Information Architect
David S. - Web Producer | Project Manager
Bert H. - Flash Developer
Kimberly S. - Senior Project Manager
__________________________________________________

Jeff M.
Information Architect

Jeff's an Information Architect with both an automotive and agency background as well as 5+ years of stellar Web design experience.

Most recently on the Mazda account for Proxicom, he collaborated with IAs, Project Managers, usability groups, and Business Analysts to design wireframes, organize content, and create remarkable user-centered sites that surpass the expectations of both clients and users. His tenure included the Lead IA role on dynamic sites for Toyota Motorsports and Cazadores Tequila.

Jeff has extensive experience designing Web pages in XHTML and CSS and is incredibly hands-on when it comes to using wireframing tools such as Visio, InDesign, and Axure.

Best of all, he's available right now!

See his on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.

Desired Work: Freelance and Permanent
__________________________________________________

David S.
Web Producer | Project Manager

A highly-seasoned Senior Web Producer and Project Manager, David was one of the three pioneering Producers at interactive Web consultancy iXL, generating creative briefs and strategy for site launches for the likes of Merrill Lynch, Virgin Records, NPR, Kenneth Cole, and other prominent clientele.

Since 2001, he's been producing Web sites and banner and e-mail campaigns for high-profile national brands and CPG companies such as Kraft, Masterfoods, Suave, and Sony BMG.

David can handle everything from concept to stunning execution and is the perfect fit for any company who needs a killer Web presence!

See his on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.

Desired Work: Freelance and Permanent
__________________________________________________

Bert H.
Flash Developer

An ActionScriptor/Flash/Web Developer who ACED our very tough ActionScripting assessment, Bert's what you might call a Flash Guru.

If you use those sort of terms.

Also skilled in animation, HTML, XML, CSS, C, C++, and JavaScript, he's freelanced at Warner Bros. Online, TBWA\Chiat\Day, New Line Cinema, Backward Heroes, and DNA Studio on sites for Harry Potter, Smallville, Budweiser, Best Buy, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Poseidon; rich media banners for Sony Playstation and PSP; and even the mini-game for the Neopets site.

He's an Aquent Talent so well-versed that he was a full-time lecturer at USC teaching Flash, 3D Studio Max, and Premiere.

So if you have a site or banner in dire need of schooling, you know who to call!

See his on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.

Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent

Skills: Macromedia Flash, Real Video, Adobe Photoshop, Macromedia Dreamweaver, Adobe Illustrator, XML, Macromedia Director, Adobe Premiere, Alias|Wavefront Maya, Lingo, Adobe Acrobat, Lotus Freelance Graphics, Management, HTML, Adobe After Effects, JavaScript
__________________________________________________

Kimberly S.
Senior Project Manager

Hiiiii-YA!

If you're looking for a Sr. Project Manager with PMP and Six Sigma Black Belt certification, stop right here!

Okay, you might want to read a bit further.

Just wrapping up a successful long-term contract at biotech giant Amgen, Kim developed and managed the execution of incredibly complex meeting and tradeshow programs, marketing-sponsored stand-alone projects, and other initiatives for the corporate accounts and oncology team.

As Client Services Director at Medsn, she managed up to 15 projects at any time with budgets up to $700K while successfully maintaining and increasing the client base by designing and implementing strategic customer retention projects.

With her 7+ years of progressive management and marketing expertise in account management, legal and regulatory compliance, and financial management, with Kim on your side, projects go from simply good to great!

Kim is available in mid-April.

See her on-line Aquent profile by clicking here.

Desired Work: Freelance & Permanent

Professional Categories: Print Project Management, Web Project Management
IT Project Management, Corporate Communications, Product Management

__________________________________________________

THAT BIT AT THE END
"For He's A Jolly Good Fellow"

To: all@levinsonco.com
From: Frank Frankerson

Subject: My Departure

Hello all,

It is with great regret that I announce the continuation of my employment here at Levinson & Company.

Though work here is thankless and grueling on most days, I have come to the conclusion that it would be much more challenging if I left.

For starters, what would I do to make money?

That was my wife's first question.

And a darn good one, too.

In fact, the more I considered it, the more I agreed with her that if I left the company I would no longer receive checks.

A quick call to Simon in Payroll confirmed that fact.

And just in time.

I would like to thank the many of you who suggested that it would be easier around here without me.

A good idea, but as with many good notions, it looked better on paper.

Though I am, in fact, not fond of my current position as Sub-Junior Supplier here at the company, it appears it will have to do for now. Which looks like tolerating a few more years of being passed up for promotions and the long three-flight walk down to my office in the basement.

Until I win the lottery, of course.

Just joking.

If I did win the lottery I'd still come in for a couple months and pretend to work and mouth off and until they fired me. Why not? I could probably still get good severance pay.

Until that day, though, you'll be seeing me right here on Level 3C, right between the broom closet and the boiler.

While I have your ear, though, I would like to thank those of you who have made a difference in my work here at Levinson & Company.

I'd like to express gratitude to John for his jokes and his good-natured ribbing while I was under his desk trying to retrieve my mechanical pencil. It really brightened up my week to hear someone laughing that hard. Ditto to Celia D. who brought my misrouted mail down to me. A month later. Thanks also to Carlos for telling me that shirt tag was out. While I have the chance I'd like to thank the good people at Lea & Perrins for their delicious Worcestershire sauce.

I won't go into saying how much I will miss those staff brown bag lunch meetings or the Monday morning "gab fests" around the coffee machine as I was going to do in my "Farewell, Suckers!" e-mail, as now I will be here for them.

Guess I'll just save that e-mail for a later date.

I did also want to ask each of you to replace the items taken from my desk during the last week and a half while the rumors of my resignation were floating around. These items are: tape dispenser, Babe Ruth coffee mug, picture of my wife and children, my Levinson & Company 10th anniversary bobble head doll, a dying phalaenopsis orchid (and planter), and the pellet gun I kept in my drawer to fend off rats.

I will be at lunch today from noon to 1pm, so you can return said pilfered items with relative anonymity.

Guess that's all for now.

It's been great working with you all these years, and I look forward to keeping in touch with many of you, as my e-mail account and phone extension will be exactly the same as last week.

Don't forget about me just because I'm in the basement.

See you all.

Frank

Whoever left this "pink slip" on my desk yesterday, forget about it.

I'm staying.
__________________________________________________

SUBSCRIBE | UNSUBSCRIBE INFO

If you don't want to receive any more of these newsletters, please reply with the word "remove" in the subject line.

Also, please feel free to reply to give us updates on your contact information.

And of course, we'd love to hear your feedback!

__________________________________________________

Tim Donnelly
Propagandist | Blogger | Stuff Coordinator

A Q U E N T
6100 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 500, Los Angeles, CA  90048
Phone: 323 634 7000 | Fax: 323 954 8517
tdonnelly@aquent.com

We represent more than 400,000 marketing and creative professionals around the globe.
Visit aquent.com to learn more.

To: all@levinsonco.com

From: Frank Frankerson

Subject: My Departure

Hello all,

It is with great regret that I announce the continuation of my employment here at Levinson & Company.

Though work here is thankless and grueling on most days, I have come to the conclusion that it would be much more challenging if I left.

For starters, what would I do to make money?

That was my wife's first question.

And a darn good one, too.

In fact, the more I considered it, the more I agreed with her that if I left the company I would no longer receive checks.

A quick call to Simon in Payroll confirmed that fact.

And just in time.

I would like to thank the many of you who suggested that it would be easier around here without me.

A good idea, but as with many good notions, it looked better on paper.

Though I am, in fact, not fond of my current position as Sub-Junior Supplier here at the company, it appears it will have to do for now. Which looks like tolerating a few more years of being passed up for promotions and the long three-flight walk down to my office in the basement.

Until I win the lottery, of course.

Just joking.

If I did win the lottery I'd still come in for a couple months and pretend to work and mouth off and until they fired me. Why not? I could probably still get good severance pay.

Until that day, though, you'll be seeing me right here on Level 3C, right between the broom closet and the boiler.

While I have your ear, though, I would like to thank those of you who have made a difference in my work here at Levinson & Company.

I'd like to express gratitude to John for his jokes and his good-natured ribbing while I was under his desk trying to retrieve my mechanical pencil. It really brightened up my week to hear someone laughing that hard. Ditto to Celia D. who brought my misrouted mail down to me. A month later. Thanks also to Carlos for telling me that shirt tag was out. While I have the chance I'd like to thank the good people at Lea & Perrins for their delicious Worcestershire sauce.

I won't go into saying how much I will miss those staff brown bag lunch meetings or the Monday morning "gab fests" around the coffee machine as I was going to do in my "Farewell, Suckers!" e-mail, as now I will be here for them.

Guess I'll just save that e-mail for a later date.

I did also want to ask each of you to replace the items taken from my desk during the last week and a half while the rumors of my resignation were floating around. These items are: tape dispenser, Babe Ruth coffee mug, picture of my wife and children, my Levinson & Company 10th anniversary bobble head doll, a dying phalaenopsis orchid (and planter), and the pellet gun I kept in my drawer to fend off rats.

I will be at lunch today from noon to 1pm, so you can return said pilfered items with relative anonymity.

Guess that's all for now.

It's been great working with you all these years, and I look forward to keeping in touch with many of you, as my e-mail account and phone extension will be exactly the same as last week.

Don't forget about me just because I'm in the basement.

See you all.

Frank

Whoever left this "pink slip" on my desk yesterday, forget about it.

I'm staying.

If you're wondering whether your e-mail marketing strategies are knocking off your customers one-by-one by driving them to hit the delete button every time they see your company name or clicking the link to unsubscribe, you might want to look at this recent interview MarketingSherpa  had with Travelocity's Director of Customer Loyalty and Marketing.

Did you think I was going to say interview with Travelocity's Gnome? Sorry.

Paul Briggs has been Director at the company for 4 1/2 years and is a huge fan of e-mail marketing segmentation. His program has gone from 2 to 3 million generic e-mails messages to a broad audience into  targeted mailings to highly-segmented lists which could be as small as 50,000 names.

He's finding that a better targeted audience initiative "consistently converted sales anywhere from eight to 12 times higher than less-relevant offers."

The article, found here, is open access for today, but may require sign in if you're reading this in, say, 2025.

(If you are reading this in the future, would you look me up and see how I'm doing? I'm very interested to find out.)

While you're reading the article, you might as well sign up for their free newsletter, which comes highly recommended from our Marketing Director, James Gardner.

Thanks for the pass along James!

In hopes to promote Web Standards, a group of folks is throwing the second annual CSS Naked Day.

Yes, on April 5th a bunch of sites will strip down to their bare HTML and show you "the man behind the curtain".

Still confused why anyone would do such a thing? Here's some thoughts from the folks over at different pixel's journal:

"So why exactly would you want to do this? If you’re a web standards junkie then you may already know, but it’s basically to show everyone the benefits of separating the content of a site from its presentation. There are many sites out there that are poorly written from an accessibility point of view, or use old table-based layout techniques that can mush up the proper structure of the HTML underneath: and that’s the part which actually carries the content of the site. This content can become hidden by the design, leading to sites that can be unusable for people not using ‘standard’ browsers. "

Since I don't code this site myself (if I did, I guarantee you wouldn't be able to read it), I won't be participating on-line.

But I will be coming to the office without shoes, just to show my support.

Viva la CSS!

(Thanks to Triathlete Becky for the info!)

Google introduces free wireless broadband service.

Sort of.

Beta released yesterday.

Be sure to read all the details.