The party is over. It's time to collect all the empty cups and put them in the recycling. I'll go to the hardware store and buy some glass to replace that table top while you scrape the shaving cream off the bathroom mirror.
It's been an 18 month long facebook kegger and the sun is starting to splinter through the venetian blinds and that hallmark of any good party - regret - is seeping in.
'Sorry, I was new to facebook and competitive about how many friends my friends had, so I friended you kind of carelessly. Now, 6 months later I'm reminded of why we didn't stay in touch and I'd like to move on now, thanks'.
Over the past few weeks a surge of defriending seems to be crashing through the world's most popular social utility. So, what's changed? Why are people defriending? Is it a New Year's resolution? Has something changed in facebook's functionality to drive people to defriend? And what's the etiquette when cutting someone from the team?
After surveying a small sample of my own friendly defrienders, the most popular defriending motivators have been:
1. I was too broad in friending past acquaintances and I want a smaller list.
Translation: This person was annoying when I interacted with them in real life and surprise, surprise, they're annoying on facebook.
2. I've adopted a more strategic approach to friending colleagues and coworkers.
Translation: This person can't do anything for me.
3. I've had a few bad interactions.
Translation: I have drunk/weird friends and ex's who post off color jokes or crazy conspiracy theories in their statuses and on my wall and I don't know how to adequately control my privacy settings. Also, they kind of illustrate to my other friends just how bananas I am.
Whatever the reason, facebook users are revisiting friends of facebook past and making some cuts.
For the most part, a personal defriending policy can be helpful. Defriending decisions can be tricky and having a firm criteria speeds up the decision process and provides a rock solid alibi if confronted by someone discovering they were recently defriended:
'I've been defriending anyone I haven't interacted with in a year'
'I've eliminated work contacts and limited facebook friends to out of work friends'
'I've defriended everyone with weird looking kids'
Whatever works for you.
Sometimes, communicating this in advance can be a very comforting, considerate way to break the news to soon-to-be-defriended. Sometimes, it's all the notice they need to Google map the quickest distance between your house and the nearest 'plastic tarp & circular saw' provider (see Dexter).
Overall, the consensus is that each individual will react differently and you really can't control those reactions. So, do unto others... Just make sure you exhibit better judgment in your defriending than you originally displayed in your sloppy friending binge, you minx.
Is there a reason this is all happening right now? Not that I've been able to determine. The bloom seems to be off the rose and folks have taken a step back and reevaluated. It seems there was a friending party when facebook was reaching critical mass and now like all great parties, we're left with a few fond memories, lots of random pictures and a few regrets.
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It's been an 18 month long facebook kegger and the sun is starting to splinter through the venetian blinds and that hallmark of any good party - regret - is seeping in.
'Sorry, I was new to facebook and competitive about how many friends my friends had, so I friended you kind of carelessly. Now, 6 months later I'm reminded of why we didn't stay in touch and I'd like to move on now, thanks'.
Over the past few weeks a surge of defriending seems to be crashing through the world's most popular social utility. So, what's changed? Why are people defriending? Is it a New Year's resolution? Has something changed in facebook's functionality to drive people to defriend? And what's the etiquette when cutting someone from the team?
After surveying a small sample of my own friendly defrienders, the most popular defriending motivators have been:
1. I was too broad in friending past acquaintances and I want a smaller list.
Translation: This person was annoying when I interacted with them in real life and surprise, surprise, they're annoying on facebook.
2. I've adopted a more strategic approach to friending colleagues and coworkers.
Translation: This person can't do anything for me.
3. I've had a few bad interactions.
Translation: I have drunk/weird friends and ex's who post off color jokes or crazy conspiracy theories in their statuses and on my wall and I don't know how to adequately control my privacy settings. Also, they kind of illustrate to my other friends just how bananas I am.
Whatever the reason, facebook users are revisiting friends of facebook past and making some cuts.
For the most part, a personal defriending policy can be helpful. Defriending decisions can be tricky and having a firm criteria speeds up the decision process and provides a rock solid alibi if confronted by someone discovering they were recently defriended:
'I've been defriending anyone I haven't interacted with in a year'
'I've eliminated work contacts and limited facebook friends to out of work friends'
'I've defriended everyone with weird looking kids'
Whatever works for you.
Sometimes, communicating this in advance can be a very comforting, considerate way to break the news to soon-to-be-defriended. Sometimes, it's all the notice they need to Google map the quickest distance between your house and the nearest 'plastic tarp & circular saw' provider (see Dexter).
Overall, the consensus is that each individual will react differently and you really can't control those reactions. So, do unto others... Just make sure you exhibit better judgment in your defriending than you originally displayed in your sloppy friending binge, you minx.
Is there a reason this is all happening right now? Not that I've been able to determine. The bloom seems to be off the rose and folks have taken a step back and reevaluated. It seems there was a friending party when facebook was reaching critical mass and now like all great parties, we're left with a few fond memories, lots of random pictures and a few regrets.
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