Peoria, Ill. (AP) - Thousands are rushing (albeit begrudgingly) to the opening week of the fourth annual World's Unfair being held in Peoria, Illinois.
Creators of the event tout while the World's Fair and WorldExpo showcase innovations and celebrations of culture, the World's Unfair bemoans the general humdrumness of everyday life and the fact that universe is slowly falling apart.
"We think this is exactly why OUR fair will go on indefinitely," says Unfair director Stuart Connors. "Frankly, we're sick of hearing that everything is looking up, when w e know for a fact just the opposite is happening."
He added, "Plus all those perky people are so absurdly irritating."
The event is being held for the first time at the fairgrounds surrounding the Peoria Dome, the nation's largest dome made completely of Popsicle sticks. This year's featured attractions include Journey To (Your Really Pathetic) Tomorrow, The Low Energy Pavilion, an Allergy Sufferer's Garden, an IMAX documentary on the history of taxation, a "CareerCoaster" featuring a 20-story drop simulating the heights of success leading to the doldrums of middle management, and even a Lactose-Intolerant Food Court where people from all around the world with sensitive digestive systems can gather together and safely complain over a soy latte and dairy-free ice cream.
Still hoping to be added next week are the exhibits "New Inventions Changing Your Future (Yeah, Right)" and the Pavilion of Unrealistic Fears.
The architectural centerpiece for the fair is fountain featuring a 300-foot half empty glass of water.
On hand for Unfair is the event's sluggish mascot, Torpor. A costumed three-toed sloth, the furry character spends his days alternately shaking his head in despair and napping in a hammock near the shabbily constructed Coliseum of Compromise.
Scheduled acts include international demotivational speaker Les S. Less, Esperanto enthusiast Ken Gordon, and an assortment of child actors, most notably Jimmy Osmond.
The very fact that over four hundred people showed up on opening day was a surprise even to the event's director.
"I was just hoping that at least my family would show up," Connors said.
Ironically, of those hundreds, none of them were the executive's family members.
"That is just so typical of them," added Connors while downing a slice of cheeseless pizza and a chocolate SilkShake. "They never do what I want to do."
Programs and shows will continue through the month or until interest wanes on the part of promoters and sponsors.
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