Dear Editor,
I am writing in response to your article in last week's paper on appallingly bad drivers ("You're In Reverse, Moron!" Apr. 17th), which I consider to be one of the most ill researched, one-sided articles I've seen in eons.
As Chairperson for Bad Drivers of America (BDA), I am compelled to give "the other side of the story" and round out this extremely prejudiced attack on a group of our community who disproportionately suffer from yelling attacks, road rage, and obscene gesturing.
Your "reporter" unashamedly categorizes poor drivers as if every one were exactly alike. I would expect this kind of naiveté from lesser publications, but not from a paper of your reputation.
When it comes to scrutinizing any organization or group, none of us should assume that each gardener, snowboarder, or mah-jongg devotee shares identical thoughts and practices. This is how stereotypes evolve and hatred begins.
Your article assumes that any substandard driver going the wrong direction down a one-way street is also the same one who makes a quick left in front of oncoming traffic as the light turns from red to green.
Au contraire!
You might as well say that Loreena Bobbit and Emeril Lagasse are similar handlers of cutlery.
Poor drivers are, in fact, a part of a highly diverse group whose members range the full breadth of our society: from conservative to liberal, from the merely distracted to the blindingly stupid, and from the petulantly aggressive to the pathetically indecisive.
A rotten driver could well be the fellow next door or an ambassador from some far away country.
Who is that exiting the freeway by crossing 4 lanes of traffic at 80 miles per hour?
A retired carpenter or the Duke of Edinburgh?!
It actually staggers the imagination.
So who exactly are the Bad Drivers of America?
We are your neighbors, your church and synagogue members, your classmates, your office workers, and quite possibly your very own family.
We live, shop, and work in the same places you do.
We just happen to get there while navigating our vehicles onto sidewalks or peeling out in school zones.
With over 6,570 members, Bad Drivers of America has become THE leading organization for inept and hopelessly inferior drivers, outpacing our competition, The Insufferable Automotive Maneuvering Club, nearly two-to-one.
We lobby tirelessly to reduce the fines and sentences handed down to second-, third-, and fourth-rate drivers.
It's our feeling that every red-blooded American has made a poor decision now and again, so why should a slight infraction like running over the foot of a Traffic Officer count against a motor vehicle operator until the end of time?
So we ask you to be fair in your judgment of us.
Who among us can honestly say they've never had a car up on two wheels while making an illegal left turn through a red light at a busy intersection?
Let those who have had no infractions cast the first stone, we say.
We are an upstanding, non-profit organization. We hold monthly chapter events, have our own newsletter ("Signals Optional"), and donate generously to charitable causes (over $15,000 alone last year for the Injured Officers' Foot Fund).
We have families just like you.
So the next time you are on vacation and one of our members stops in the middle of the road to take a picture of the lovely scenery or doesn't signal because of the inherent difficulties involved in smoking a cigarette, talking on a cell phone, and driving a vehicle simultaneously, please don't yell out derogatory and drivist sentiments like, "Get off the road!" or "Hang up and drive!"
Just remember that we were just sitting next to you in prayer or standing to your left at the voting booth.
And we'll still be in our cars long after you've left yours and have to cross the street.
Just saying.
Bob Murphy
Boston, MA
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