The Aquent ASAP Job List
"Be Thankful and Multiply"
Yes, still featuring our nearly award winning column!
Interested in a position?
PLEASE E-MAIL THE AGENT (see links for each job):
- A recent resume which reflects all the must haves
- A brief summary of how your experience matches the MUST HAVES
- Any samples, if requested
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS WEEK'S POSITIONS:
- Product Marketing Manager
- Web Producer
- Marketing Director
- Banner Ad Web Designer
- Interactive Creative Director
- Jr. Account Executive
- Flash Animator
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
POSITION: Product Marketing Manager
TERMS: Freelance (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
- Online portfolio/product management experience
- eCommerce product marketing skills
- Consumer insight and competitive research experience
PERKS!:
-
Awesome high-growth and profitable e-commerce company
LOCATION:
-
Hollywood
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
POSITION: Web Producer
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
- 3 to 5 years experience as a Web Project Manager
- Background working in a fast-paced environment
- Agency experience a plus!
PERKS!:
- Small company with large clients
- Casual environment
- Work on cool projects
LOCATION:
-
Pasadena
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
POSITION: Marketing Director
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
- 10+ years of marketing experience
- Experience with direct mail and customer retention marketing
- Background developing customer loyalty programs and new business acquisitions
PERKS!:
-
Fun, creative environment (ping pong tables and on-site basketball court)
LOCATION:
-
Marina del Rey
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
POSITION: Banner Ad Web Designer
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
- 5+ years of experience
- Excellent Flash animation and hands-on CSS & HTML skills
- Prior experience as a team lead and working with clients
PERKS!:
- Fun environment
- Lose your commute! Client is very accessible via public transportation
LOCATION:
-
Downtown
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
POSITION: Interactive Creative Director
TERMS: Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
- 10 to 12 years of experience
- Creative Director roles on large B2C Web sites
- Extensive knowledge of information architecture, HTML, CSS, and JavaScript
- Agency background preferred as is working with computer or mobile brands
PERKS!:
- Growing (and fun) agency
- New position created for client's LA team, ground floor of a potentially large team
- Work with top brands
LOCATION:
-
Santa Monica
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
POSITION: Jr. Account Executive
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
- 1+ year agency experience
- Client facing experience
- Prior work on luxury brands a huge plus
PERKS!:
- Great agency with an international feel
- Work on high-end luxury accounts
LOCATION:
-
Santa Monica
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
POSITION: Flash Animator
TERMS: Freelance-to-Permanent (On-Site)
MUST HAVES!:
- 3+ years professional experience creating Flash banners and sites
- Great Flash animation skills
- Strong score on our Flash animation assessment
PERKS!:
- Great agency with an international feel
- Work on high-end luxury accounts
LOCATION:
-
Santa Monica
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS INTERESTED AND QUALIFIED:
Point your friend right to this link and have them drop your name to the Agent.
INTERESTED IN OTHER AQUENT POSITIONS?
Go here, my friend, then select Job Openings
* MyAquent users, use your UserName & Password to express interest in jobs. Everybody else, the registration is easy!
The JOB CENTER will track which jobs you've applied for and the current status.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THAT BIT AT THE END
"Fatal Attractor"
Dear Customer Service,
I am writing to you today to file a complaint about the Super3000 Electromagnet I recently bought from your Web site.
I had purchased this magnet on a lark, since I am something of a science buff and often entertain the neighborhood children with feats of wonder involving static electricity, dry ice, and magnets with the assistance of my Yorkshire terrier, Charles Dogwin.
As excited as I was about my purchase, however, upon actually plugging the magnet in and turning it on I instantaneously lost power to my television, computer, VCR, CD player, and (for some reason) Dogwin's automatic watering bowl. My refrigerator moved three feet out of my kitchen, the metal vertical blinds in my living room stood on end, and every knife in my Henckels cutlery set flew out of its deluxe oak storage block and embedded itself into the wall behind me as if I was in some kind of animated movie.
Though immediately shutting the magnet off did seem to return everything back to normal, I have been experiencing quite a few problems around my home that, quite frankly, have me concerned, which I wish to address.
To begin with, my extensive compass collection has been permanently and irreparably damaged. Each now believes the magnetic north pole lies somewhere between my andirons and divan.
Secondly, my beloved Dogwin has begun to shed profusely since that day, leaving mounds of fur wherever he lays, and has started vibrating.
Most frustratingly, however, is the fact that my entire VHS video collection has been wholly ruined from the brief exposure to the electromagnetic charge. The sheer power of the Super3000 Electromagnet has removed characters from select videos and placed them in others where they simply do not belong.
Imagine my alarm when I had planned a quiet evening at home watching an episode of Bonanza only to be jolted from my chesterfield by the appearance of Clint Eastwood as the "Outlaw Josey Wales". Eastwood promptly walked onto the Ponderosa and punched Little Joe in the eye then kicked him a few times while he was down.
Every VHS tape I own is now a victim of the electromagnet's wrath:
Hannibal Lecter has begun stalking the Golden Girls.
The Nazis from "The Sound of Music" have been replaced by the Nazis from "Schindler's List".
Keanu Reeves' characters from "The Matrix" and "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" have been irreversibly switched.
The lovable Beaver Cleaver has been emotionally damaged from his exposure to the Elephant Man in one episode and the cast of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" in another.
Finally, Norma Desmond from "Sunset Blvd." has convinced George Bailey from "It's a Wonderful Life" that he's much better off dead, which changes the point of the movie considerably.
The only saving grace in this whole matter is the disappearance of Jar Jar Binks from Episode I of Star Wars (though he has turned up in a very minor role in Francis Ford Coppola's "Apocalypse Now").
I will not even get into my extensive audiotape collection, as every time I mention Madonna and Waylon Jennings singing Don Giovanni I begin to weep uncontrollably.
As this is the first time you are hearing about my complaint, I have yet to contact a legal representative.
At the very least I hope you will consider returning my money for the Super 3000 Electromagnet.
Of course, my wish would be reimbursement for Dogwin's countless visits to the veterinarian and pet therapist, as well as money toward rebuilding my priceless media collection.
Please do not contact me by phone, as I have been afraid to answer it since the last time I picked it up I was mercilessly harassed by the killer from "Scream".
Leave a comment