Falling smack dab in the middle of Rocktober, Blender magazine names what it believes to be the 40 Worst Lyricists in Rock.
Ever conscious of being hipper than thou, they've aimed their guns at Sting by naming him #1. For good measure they threw in Jim Morrison, Bernie Taupin, and Paul McCartney.
I mean, they are just being cheeky, right?
Or obviously no one at Blender has listened much to Red Hot Chili Peppers (Anthony Kiedis comes in at #40) or were aware that the band Lobo existed...
"When I saw you standing there
I bout fell out my chair
And when you moved your mouth to speak
I felt the blood go to my feet."
- I'd Love You to Want Me
..not to mention Lite Rock champions America:
"cause the free wind is blowin through your hair
And the days surround your daylight there
Seasons crying no despair
Alligator lizards in the air, in the air"
- Ventura Highway
Did they really forget about Styx?
Their only saving grace? Dan Fogelberg comes in at #5.
Let me leave you with his hit, Longer:
Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens
I've been in love with you
Stronger than any mountain cathedral
Truer than any tree ever grew
Deeper than any forest primeval
I am in love with you
I'll bring fire in the winters
You'll send showers in the springs
We'll fly through the falls and summers
With love on our wings
Through the years as the fire starts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow
I'll be in love with you
What? Those aren't good lyrics?
You had me at Scott Stapp. He's my #1.
And don't you mess with Anthony Keidis. At least there's a sense of humor in his music. Am I the only one that thinks "Skinny Sweaty Man" was a work of art? How could you not love this:
Flashin' lots of cash and spendin' lots-o-loot
he's sitting at the bar - then he's sittin' at the booth
across the dance floor he does scoot
he's the skinny sweaty man in the green suit
The caboose that could he goes toot toot
been known to gag and sometimes puke
a very good friend of granny goose
he's the skinny sweaty man in the green suit
Sorry, still LOVE all their old stuff. The rest of those goofballs though seem a bit more serious.
I thought I'd have you at Winger...
Aw, thought I might get some flack from the Peppers comment. I stick by it, though, sorry. My friend, John, put it this way, "How can guys so stupid be so musically talented?"
My mom's friend, an older office worker at a high school, was on an airplane with them and they were nice enough to climb over her seat to get to their seats.
They are good fellows.
Haha...that's nice and weird. I still love them. The old them more than the new them. You couldn't have me at Winger because I have absolultely no recollection of any of their music. I'm just recalling big hair and big white teeth. Am I right?
I actually couldn't get past laughing at the name to pick up an album, but Marshall in our office does confirm Kip Winger had big hair and "big white choppers". Probably my worst offense during the 80's was
Paul Young and his poor cover of "Love Will Tear Us Apart". But I'm sure if you asked my friends, they'd be able to pick out worse offenses...
Oh, we all had our Paul Young. OK wait....black, gelled mullet and big tweedy trench coat. Ask Marshall if I am right. Did his videos in black and white, right?
See? I paid attention during the eighties. That's because I was so cool with my pin-stiped, acid wash jeans and other fashion attrocities I dare not mention.
I was so unhip that my family didn't have cable, thus MTV. In fact, they still don't. So I can't attest to his B&Wness.
Wow, you were cool! (At least you were nice, right? That's more lasting...)
I might have been worse with my atrocities, which were, "Hey, I don't care about 80's fashion". Except for that 1 month I went through a Miami Vice stage.
Where did those pictures go?