From Dr. Andrew A. Okoya
URGENT BUSINESS PROPOSAL FROM NIGERIA
This e-mail missive may come to you as a surprise as it is coming from someone you have not met before.
Please do not be alarmed, as my colleagues and myself have investigated your corporation quite thoroughly and have come to the conclusion that you would be the ideal person to handle this very sensitive and private business matter, dear sir or madam.
I am a civil adviser in Nigeria, and I am currently working with the monitoring committee overseeing a petroleum trust fund. My colleagues and I need to transfer US $25 million into reliable foreign bank accounts and we were hoping you would be of assistance.
Before you become overly concerned about where these funds are originating, I will inform you they were generated from the over-invoicing of contracts executed for the Nigeria National Petroleum Corporation and discovered by our committee while reviewing the accounts. These contracts have all been executed and the contractors all paid.
The money, it seems, has magically appeared out of nowhere.
This is why we are contacting you at this time for either your personal or business account into which we can deposit this money.
What else could we possibly do with all this cash?
At first we debated using it to help the millions of needy Nigerians in our troubled country, but after much discussion we all thought of you.
We imagined you could use the money to buy one of those new hybrid cars, so you can help save the environment. That's a cause you are interested in, correct?
You could afford to buy everyone in your office a hybrid car.
Think of the gallons of gas your country will no longer have to pump out of wells in some foreign land to operate your lumbering SUVs!
In fact, how else are you going to save the Earth without giving us your bank account number so we can transfer 20% of $25 million into it?
If you're wondering where the rest of the 75% is going, you're much smarter than you look. 70% is going to myself and my esteemed colleagues, as we were the ones who caught this error in the first place. Finders keepers and all that.
The other 5% will be for contingency expenses like faxing, overnight shipping, and for some nice plants for around the office.
I must tell you now that for reasons of confidentiality, I will need you to respond through e-mail only, not by fax or telephone. As you may well know, any imbecile can tap a telephone line, but the Internet still remains the most secure place to send confidential information. It is even superior to handing money to someone in broad daylight in a well-populated area. (There was a special on just such this thing on BBC back in February. I'll see if we can send you the tape.)
All we need from you now is:
(1) you and your company's name and full address
(2) your banker's name, address, telephone and fax numbers
(3) the account number
(4) you or your wife's maiden name
(5) where you hide the key outside your apartment
(6) a six-letter word for "agriculturist"
In no way should you find it suspicious that we have neither your company's name nor your own.
We also wish to assure you that your involvement, should you decide to assist us, will be well protected and that this business proposal is 100% risk-free.
In fact, if you receive another unsolicited letter from Nigeria that offers you a better, more secure deal, we will give you your money back plus a $10 Starbucks gift card.
Yes, we're just THAT sure you're going to LOVE this irregular business proposition!
Thank you so much for your anticipated cooperation. We look forward to a mutually benefiting business relationship with you.
Perhaps we could arrange a nice lunch after this matter is all over. How does that sound? Thursdays work best for us.
Once again, we do stress that you handle this delicate arrangement with the utmost secrecy.
If you decide to decline this offer, you should delete this email. But not before checking around your office to see if anyone knows a six-letter word for "agriculturist".
We could really use that.
Faithfully yours,
Dr. Andrew A. Okoya, DDS
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