Available for a limited time only, the Special Features Bonus Disk of your life now on DVD!!
Yes, if you act now, a special limited edition commemorative DVD based on your VERY OWN LIFE can be yours for only $19.95!
But you must act now before this offer expires.
Without seeing the extra Special Features of your life, how else would you know what that guy in line behind you at the ATM was thinking? Just hear what he had to say about Stacy Q. from Tampa, FL:
GUY BEHIND STACY Q. AT THE ATM:
"I have no idea what was taking her so long. What the heck she was doing up there, transferring money between her U.S. and Swiss accounts? Paying her mortgage? She had a good five minutes in line, you would have thought that she would have used that time to endorse her checks, add them up, or even get an envelope. But no, she just went up there and kept pushing buttons, counting on her fingers, and reading the instructions to see how to put the envelope in. Man, what a ditz!
Tony T. from Pocatello, Idaho bought his Special Features Bonus Disk so he didn't have to just guess what his USC Film School professor thought of his short films, he heard it from his former prof's mouth!
JEREMY COSTON, Tony's USC Film School Professor:
I don't think I have ever seen films so boring, either before or since Tony's. And I've sat through some real losers like Andy Warhol's "Sleep", a full six hours of poet John Giorno dozing. "Sleep" was a summer action blockbuster compared to Tony's films. Surprising, since most of Tony's films were only a few minutes long.
Palm Readers and Phrenologists can PROMISE you the future, but only hindsight is 20/20, and those who can't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
Only with your EXCLUSIVE Special Features Bonus Disk can you get a play-by-play look back at your life and the people who made it happen.
* What did your fourth grade teacher REALLY think of your State Project?
* Why did you get more punishment than your brother for skipping church?
* What was that crazy man outside of Kmart ranting about?
Only your Special Features Bonus Disk knows for sure!
(Note: Though these disks may tell you WHY your boyfriend started dating your best friend, it will NOT explain why you were dumb enough to be a bridesmaid at their wedding.)
NOW YOUR FUTURE IS IN YOUR VERY OWN HANDS FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF $19.95!!!
Operators are standing by!
Just look at these great Bonus Features:
* Hours of Footage of Your Life Narrated by Your Father, Mother, and Ex-Boyfriends/Girlfriends
* Deleted Scenes from Your Life
* Interactive Game Based on Your Career Choices
* List of Common Misconceptions Most People Have About You
* Screen Tests of B-Level Actors Portraying You (should your life be made into a movie)
* Brief (3 min.) Sitcom-Style Short Based on the Most-Embarrassing Moment that Ever Happened to You
* Some Creepy Poet Guy You Dated in Your Early Twenties Reading Poems About You
* List of Every Pet You've Overfed, Forgot About, or Otherwise Caused to Expire
* Subtitles in Spanish and Canadian French
All in theatrical aspect ratio of 1.33:1 and exclusive Dolby Digital and THX surround sound!
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
Order today and you'll receive:
A limited edition plush doll of YOU at ABSOLUTELY NO CHARGE!
How can we afford to make a DVD of every single person's life and sell it for just $19.95?
Volume!
We're the largest producer of personal Special Features Bonus Disks in the world!
Heck, we may be the ONLY producer of Special Features Bonus Disks.
Don't forget, these make great gifts for every single friend and family member who ever had an opinion about how you were living your life!
(Please note that Special Features Bonus DVD material depends on cooperation of parents, siblings, friends, and local/national authorities.)
Commentaries presented in Special Features Bonus DVDs do not necessarily represent those of Your Life On DVD Productions LLC or any of its subsidiaries.
ORDER TODAY!
Offer not valid in Puerto Rico, American Samoa, Guam, Northern Mariana Islands, or U.S. Virgin Islands.
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