From: The Office of the President
To: All Personnel
RE: The Intranet
By now most of you may have noticed the changes in our company-wide Intranet.
Specifically, that every time you log-in a barrage of Pop-Ups or Pop-Unders are unleashed in your browser and a preponderance of banner ads appear on the top, side, and bottom of your page. You may notice this happening whether you are on a PC or Mac and running Explorer, Firefox, or Safari.
Many of you have been complaining about such activity on our company's private Intranet, so I've drafted this special memo to address your concerns.
The first thing I'd like to impart is that these advertisements are from legitimate enterprises and have my full seal of approval. Whether it be a message prompting you to gamble on-line (at home, please) or tempting you with a low-priced vacations to exciting destinations like Tahiti or the sunny Caribbean (if you have vacation time accrued, that is), you should think before you race to click these windows closed. Consider for a moment what these folks have to offer.
I mean, $250 for 4 days and 3 nights in Paris (Las Vegas), wow!
And though it may seem a little irritating when you get 2 or 3 ads every time you try to download an important form or access the company directory, I think it's a small price to pay considering the revenue these ads are generating.
At a time when it's exceedingly difficult for companies in our industry to turn a profit, I personally believe these ads will help us reach our 2006 fiscal goals.
We'll see how this goes for first quarter, then the Board and I will meet to discuss profits versus losses.
If things are not looking up by Q2 we may also try these options: Pop-Ups on our corporate Web site, company cars branded with other corporation's logos (think NASCAR), short advertisements before someone can leave you a voicemail, and (purely as a last resort, I'd like to add) sponsored staff jumpsuits.
Marketing will be busy coming up with more great ideas in the months to come (they are working closely with Sales to work out how to drop 15 second advertisements into company PowerPoint presentations). You may also want to stop by and thank them for those ads stuffed inside your paycheck envelope.
If you'd like to discuss this further, just come up and see me at the company Christmas party. Please remember that this date has been moved to February 17th.
Leave a comment